If you ever come across a woman who tells you she doesn’t look like a gargoyle in the morning and just naturally looks fabulous without any help besides a splash of water … I give you permission to call said woman a dirty liar THEN find the closest person next to you, high-five them, and STRUT away. (Ps. I normally do NOT condone this kind of behavior, but in this case, GO FOR IT.)

For the love of GOD, it drives me nuts in the movies when actresses “sleep” and wake up looking like an angel that was just delivered from heaven. I, on the other hand, look like the minute my head hit the pillow, I traveled all the way down to Hell, did shots with Satan, swam in the River Styx and finally came back to life once my alarm went off.

For some reason, I wake up with my hair a hot mess, my eyes are like slits, my skin is all pale, pillow marks all over my face, sometimes drool (ick I know but hey this is a safe place right?), chapped lips. I walk like the crypt keeper all hunched over and disheveled to the shower, and until that water hits my skin … I’m a disaster area.

So here it is folks. I’m not ashamed of what I have to do in order to not scare the general public in the mornings. This is a list of my go-to, everyday make up I use. Please feel free to share your regime … who knows, maybe we can all help each other!

Benefit Erase Paste– GENIUS. PURE. GENIUS. I realize I’m only 24, but I get bags under my eyes, and I get the occasional blemish. Ladies, not only does it cover all that jazz up, but it makes my pale skin bright with a glow and just gives this over all “woo hoo, LIFE!” look. It is fabulous, a bit pricey … but it lasts forever and trust me, so beyond worth it.

Laura Mercer Bronzer– My new love. For a while I was using a bronzer by Tarte, but I found it to be a little too shimmery and I was looking for something a little more flat. This is a new-found love, we’ve been having an affair for about a week and she rocks. It is the perfect amount of color to make me not look like Casper.

Bobbi Brown Blush– It is like stark pink and I was frightened when my mother passed this on to me since she didn’t like it (thanks mom!) But just a TOUCH on the upper parts of my cheeks give the illusion that my skin is a bit sun-kissed, since it clearly is not.

Sephora Brand Eye Shadow– Because I have blue eyes, I go for the brown and gold tones mostly (because some random person that worked at a Sephora told me to do that so I said, YES SIR). But their brand of makeup isn’t too shabby.

Bad Gal Lash by Benefit– If I could only keep one thing from my makeup drawer, it would be this. I’ve been using it forever and it doesn’t get clumpy (by the way I just added that word to the list of words I despise … ick), it accentuates the lashes in a very drastic way and it doesn’t take off half your lashes when you try to take it off.

N.Y.C. Eyeliner– I bet you are thinking, what the eff. Okay, so when I had like negative amounts of money in college, I bought this brand because it was $2 at Target … and I fell in love with it. It is cheap as all hell, but works and stays on. Black liquid liner is black liquid liner people … don’t hate.

Lipstick/Lip Gloss– That is a game time decision I make right before I approach work, my friends. That is why if you look in my purse it looks like I hoard lip glosses.

Ps. I think I might need Sephora rehab.