Monsters For The Holidays? What?

The holidays have to be the most fantastic time of the year. Not just because it makes people over spend and you have the possibility of getting everything your little jaded heart desires, no … it just happens to be one of the most romantically delicious and magnificent couple of weeks in the whole 12 month calendar. I’m telling you, some people frolic when the weather warms up, flowers start blooming and bees start a buzzing. Me … not so much. But when it turns negative zero, everything is dipped in twinkle lights, snow is on the ground, N’Sync Christmas is a blaring (oh yeah, I went there) and my seat warmers are warming up my tush … THAT my friends … is pure bliss for me.

And nothing is more “holiday” or more “Christmas” than New York City. It sure knows how to do it up with the Rockafeller Center jazz, The Rockettes Christmas Spectacular and all the infamous windows to shop, like Barney’s. And this year, we all need to prepare ourselves in advance, and this is why I think this news broke so early, because Lady Gaga will be creating a whole floor and window displays of Santa’s workshop magic starting in mid-November. Help. Police. Murder.

Okay perhaps this is just because I watched the video for “You and I” last night and I’m STILL disturbed, because if you don’t know already … I find her to be a beautifully crafted evil creative genius, so I HATE to admit this but uh … I’m a SMIDGE nervous for this spectacle.

You know good ol’ Saint Nick will not be a jolly plump man with a gray long beard, red suit, black boots and a big sack over his shoulder. I’m thinking she will probably turn herself into Santa, cross dressing of course, exchanging the black boots for the 16 inch heel-less wonders that light up, latex red body suit, I’m going to say she MAY go traditional with the Santa hat, but you know, get Donatella Versace to jazz it up or something, black lace over her eyes (very Chanel-esque), and the red sack turned into some fantastic new see-through latex purse. I’m just spit balling out ideas here people.

I’m also envisioning Santa’s reindeer as shirtless, chiseled and fantastic gay men that will be spray painted in silver glitter with their hands molded into actual hooves and sparkly, brown antlers coming from their foreheads. And for the elves, well … the options are endless. But I see them being McQueen-ed out. Armadillo shoes and all … very “walk walk fashion baby” if you know what I mean. And as for the Christmas tree … I picture millions of sparkling disco balls taking their form.

Let’s just say, I hope she turns the men’s section of Barney’s into her set of “Bad Romance” and not into the set from “You and I” … because I may run out of Barney’s screaming, for the first time in the history of Barney’s I do believe. Seriously, will this be kid friendly? Will I be picking glitter off of myself for weeks to come (fingers crossed)? Will I get to sit on Gaga’s lap? Will Barney’s EVER RECOVER FROM THIS MADNESS?! AH!

Also, I’ll probably go get in line right now because I can only see the crowds of people being as big or bigger than the MET McQueen exhibit turn out … and honey … I don’t think my patience can take another four hour wait … but this is something that NEEDS to be seen.

What would you ask Gaga for Christmas?

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