I dream of a winter when ankle booties reign supreme. When feet walk to and fro in fantastic flats. When leather and suede boots pound the pavement. When Hunter Boots become a staple in every closet. Yes ladies and gents … I dream of a winter with NO UGG BOOTS. I bet the record in your head just screeched. Jaws up, ladies, jaws up.
Ugg boots came into vogue when I was in high school, some odd six or seven years ago. The snobby girls would strut around my high school in different colored Ugg boots every day with jean skirts and an Abercrombie and Fitch polo (hi, it was New Jersey, not Cali) … and quite frankly they made me want to vomit then too. I vowed to never own a pair … UNTIL … I went to college. When spending the optimal amount of time in bed was key and sweat pants, hoodies and jeans were considered haute couture, owning a pair of Uggs was necessary. They matched everything and were simple and cute for their purpose. I can safely say EVERY single girl on my campus owned a pair by the time I graduated.
So now it is 2011, going on 2012, and people are still buying and lusting after Ugg boots like they are right off the runway. What?! I’ve seen numerous trends come and go, and come and go again, yet these boots have clung to the American public like white on rice. Listen here, they are no longer cute, original or trendy … they are common, and we are ALL better than common. And I gotta say, Ugg must have roofied us somehow because, in all honesty, they aren’t cute! Think about it, Jimmy Choo couldn’t even make them cute!
Remember when everyone was freaking out over crocs, loving them until the reality of how unforgivably ugly they were set in, so instead, they turned into a great shoe for children? Well friends, this is exactly what needs to happen to Ugg boots. They are easy, warm and absolutely adorable for kids. Moms out there, this is a win, win!
I know all of us probably own one or two pairs, in fact I have one pair left and they are too expensive to toss. But the only socially acceptable time to wear them is during a snow storm. Shovel, play, frolic, wear them with your leggings or jeans … but ONLY when there is snow on the ground. Don’t wear them to work, to run errands, to the gym, to the bar, to the grocery store or anywhere else for that matter. Just don’t. Think of what your life was like without these beasts? What did you wear?
A winter without Uggs … what a fabulous and refreshing concept. Will you give them up too, because I am starting a revolution!