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Wanted For Murder: Trend Killer

So after a long, rainy and windy Wednesday I drug myself to the mall for some relaxation and some shopping, because … ya know, that was totally necessary. And as you can probably already guess, I found myself in Forever 21, because going after 6 p.m. is the perfect time to shop calmly there.

I like to name specific sections of Forever 21. The hipster section, the chic/prissy section, the ho fo sho section, the “we know people other than skanky 21 year olds shop here, so we made some conservative style clothing” section, the F21 Couture section, the it looks like flower fabric vommed all over this section … and so on.

But as I moseyed throughout each section, I found myself looking at fantastic garments, wanting to try them on … and then, out of NOWHERE, I would have this crazytown flashback of someone in my life wearing said garment in a truly heinous fashion, making me walk away slowly from it. I tried to shake off the flashback and power forward with trying the piece on, but it was too late. Instead, the once cute garment was now stained by this trend killer in my life who wore it terribly, ruining the entire look for me. What … the … hell!?

For example, Forever 21 is flowing with dresses that require you to wear leggings with it, because otherwise there is a good chance your tush will be out and about. But I’ve seen so many girls tiring this look out, wearing the wrong pair of boots with it or the wrong color leggings that I no longer want anything to do with it. The look is dead. RIP cute, simple dresses that once served a purpose in my closet.

Or then there is a piece of clothing that is cute, that you could totally see yourself frolicking about in, but reminds you of someone you detest. Again, this happened to me tonight while I was in F21. I saw a really cute shirt, totally saw myself twirling around in it in the dressing room … but then another silly flashback popped into my head of said person I detest over wearing the shirt and/or wearing it wrong. I then backed away slowly and fled from the scene. I mean put a tombstone over that one for crying out loud.

I was so beyond frustrated because once those looks have been tainted like this, they rarely can be rescued. They have been damaged so badly that there isn’t even a glimpse of hope to resuscitate them. I can’t help but violently shake my fist at this people. Would I ever go up to that person and say, “Hey you, do you realize I was having flashbacks of you ruining a perfectly good outfit for me, which then led me to not even try it on. WAY TO GO JERK.” Yeah, perhaps if we lived in an honest world I would, but I do have this thing called common decency towards my fellow man and woman.

These trend murderers need to be stopped, or perhaps I need to go see a fashion psychiatrist about my flashbacks (do fashion psychiatrists really exist, THAT is the question?) But I don’t think it will never stop because people will continue wearing certain things improperly and over wearing perfectly good looks. And there will be people who you may not fancy that will put a sour taste in your mouth for certain looks.

The solution to the fashion grief: Move on to something bigger, better and more fabulous, and that is exactly what I did tonight. Let’s just hope these fashion murders don’t get their paws on these guys anytime soon.

RIP perfectly good looks … RIP.

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