So I promised myself that this weekend will be the one where I throw in the towel and start Christmas shopping. And with Christmas shopping comes the temptation of buying yourself one or two … or five presents … cause you know you’ve been awfully good this year, correct? I am a firm believer in buying yourself what my family calls a “happy, happy” whilst Christmas shopping. I’m not saying go crazy and buy yourself a Rolls Royce and a bottle of Cris because you think you’re awesome, I’m talking just a little something something that could potentially put a glow upon your face.

I know it might sound pretentious to discuss buying yourself Christmas presents, but we work hard too … and for the love of God Santa is a busy man, he can’t remember every little thing. I personally have my eye on a pair of sparkly heels. Last year I got the sparkly dress for New Year’s, this year I want my shoes to have a little bling, not like over the top, Paris Hilton bling … but you know, just the right amount of sparkle.

So another vital piece of info you will need to understand this post is that I’m 5’9. I became “tall” when I went from normal 7th grader height to like 5’8 over night … and this is where my height issues set in being that I was surrounded by petite, cute 5 foot nothing girls until I went to college. From then on, shoes I could wear and boys I could date became limited. Boys had to be over 6 foot and shoes had to be a kitten heel or less. Even whilst wearing kitten heels, I felt like an unnatural amazon woman. I used to despise, actually sometimes still do, those perfect 5’5 girls who are always like, “If only I had an extra two inches, sigh.” I most certainly always verbally smack them and say something along the lines of, “Well …  AT LEAST YOU HAVE SHOE OPTIONS … HHHIISSSSSSS.”

I’m 24 now, and since I’ve graduated college, perhaps due to some “real world” therapy, I’ve gone from feeling like the jolly green giant in kitten heels to rocking 3 inch platforms with confidence. In fact, I wore flats to work one day and a direct quote from one of my co-workers, “Wow, I’ve never seen you in anything but heels, this is weird!” She really did not understand the look of shock that took over my face due to how bizarre that statement was for me to endure, the girl whose license still says 5’8 because for so long I accepted that height and refused to admit that I was in reality one inch taller. (First step is recognizing you’re a freak.)

So due to my craving for some dazzling heels, I entered upon the Nordstrom website, which is fantastic. You can specify what color heel you want, what size, what heel height and what price. So in general, without limitations, there were so many sparkly heels, I didn’t know which one to click first. In fact every shoe was gorgeous. Sparkles, feathers, suede, leather … amazing. All of it. I wanted it. In my closet.

So then I got a little more specific. Price, below $200, aka below $150, aka below $100. Heel height, 3 inches or less. Color, sparkly (I don’t think that was a color option, but I made it work). Size, 9. All of a sudden, it was like the website got sucked dry of all the pretty shoes. Gone. I was in the land of dry, boring and vanilla. If I wanted a Naturalizer, black leather sling back with a kitten heel, I was in heaven, but unfortunately that was not what I was looking for.

Okay perhaps I’m lying, there was ONE pair of sparkly shoes, that is if I wanted to get down with a sequin pair of peep toe TOMS wedges. Really? Really “TOMS”? So here is what I want to know. Why no one makes the “fun” shoes for the girl who doesn’t want to rock a 4 inch heel with a 1 1/2 inch platform. I’m not just speaking for the tall girls out there who don’t want to tower over their boyfriends in the name of fabulousness. I’m talking about the average girl who doesn’t want to have to be carried around by the end of the night because their feet hurt from said devil heels or have to walk barefoot through a city and end up getting some weird disease on their feet.

Just because we want a reasonably sized heel, which 3 inches still isn’t reasonable, we get shamed to wearing some non-special, every day “working woman” shoe. It really makes no sense. Give us options, shoe makers of the world. Just because we don’t need or want an extra four inches strapped onto our person doesn’t mean we don’t fancy the pretty shoes, and no throwing us a leopard print kitten heel sling back doesn’t count (can you tell I hate sling backs).

I dream of a day when I can walk into a shoe department and not have to just dream of making out with the pretty five inch feathery heels, or the sequin stiletto pumps, or the five inch pumps with spikes going down the back. Instead I look longingly, cursing the makers of them wondering why they couldn’t have the same shoe with a slightly smaller heel. I curse them all, I really do.

Until then, I will continue on my hunt for the perfect sparkly shoe. Call me Cinderella, but it is about walking around on this Earth in what you feel comfortable in. I don’t lack confidence, and unfortunately a lot of people feel that is the reason why I won’t wear a super high heel, but that isn’t the case. It is because I don’t feel like I could be my most fantastic self in them, and therefore they aren’t worth it.

It is all about embracing your confidence and going for it. Henceforth why I no longer feel like an Amazon woman in kitten heels.