The Vanillas …

Have you ever come across a girl you can’t help but compare yourself to? For me, I always find myself up against the vanilla girls. I’m sure you’ve come across a couple in your life, and if you haven’t well, that is fabulous for you. The vanilla girls are always put together. They can walk into a room without a drop of makeup on and just say, “oops I didn’t have time to put it on this morning, oh well” and not even blink. Claim to be fabulously fashion forward and say Audrey Hepburn is their style icon. Their perfect hair is NEVER out-of-place … EVER. They aren’t funny, slightly serious if anything. Stains never land on any article of clothing they own and if, God forbid, it does happen, they have a Tide stick in arms reach to heal this issue. Their clothing is always ironed to perfection. When they laugh, it seems the right gust of wind always comes along to move their hair to and fro as they fling their head back and forth smiling and caring on in what seems to be slow motion.

And then here I am. I like to think that ever female has some sort of fantastic sparkle to them. It could be something terribly tiny, but just SOMETHING that makes them stand out from the crowd. I also don’t like to believe in things like “perfection,” since, for me at least, it seems highly unobtainable and not worth the blood, sweat and tears it takes to obtain. Because I believe when you do obtain it … you turn vanilla.

So here are just some reasons why I find myself to not be a “vanilla girl”:

1. I’m disheveled. I move at a million miles a second and therefore always have a flaw with my outfit. Hell, I feel like it gives it character. It is either I’m wrinkled or I have a stain or hole on my dress, or I have red pen on my sleeve. Regardless, something is always out-of-place. Perhaps I should slow down.

2. I hate ironing. Yes, I invested in a steamer and adore it, but even that sometimes doesn’t do the trick. By the end of the day I look like I took off my dress, crumbled it up in a ball, threw it on the ground, walked all over it and then slipped it back on.

3. I curse … a lot … including the “F” word. (Sorry mom/family … it’s sad but true, although you probably know this)

4. When I laugh really hard my eyes tear up and I cry, whilst laughing … which then leads me to look like a hot mess. The right gust of wind might come to move my hair in a sexy fashion that will most likely end up getting caught in my fabulous lip gloss. I could fling my head back, but I would probably knock someone out or pull something in my neck. But yes, when I laugh I sometimes have mascara running down my face … but I believe a good laugh is totally worth it.

5. I’m Alexander McQueen … not Ann Taylor.

6. If I don’t have makeup on … I feel naked. I can’t pull a, “OH MY GOD, I’m running so late … I’ll just do my makeup when I get there,” because I will feel like a crazed hyena when I get “there.”

7. My hair always looks like I rolled around in the backseat of my car for a couple of hours. When I am thinking about something, I’ll run my fingers through my hair, or try to give it more volume which will just make it look like I have out-of-control sex hair. I just want more volume, dammit.

8. I’m more fascinated with the abstract, not the simple.

9. I dig my chunky, over-the-top, outlandish accessories. Like high heels with studs on the back of them that could potentially hurt someone or black over the knee leather boots.

10. My nails are rarely painted properly. They are either chipped or, if I have a second, I most likely just covered up the chipped parts with the same color as I was flying out the door to leave for work. Sorry, no time for french manicures :::yawn:::

I think, as females, we all strive to reach some level of perfection. But like I said before, it just is an unobtainable thing. Women kill themselves daily to have the right hair, makeup, clothing, accessories just for the sake of “fitting in,”  and I absolutely do not exclude myself from that statement. Yes, I sometimes let myself get carried away with comparing my style to these “vanilla girls,” but all this comparing and contrasting has just made me become one with my so-called “flaws,” because that is who I am, and at the end of the day the “vanilla” look just doesn’t suite me. Flaws are beautiful, no matter how abnormal or dysfunctional they may be, they are you, so get used to it. Even under all of those pretty dresses, proper hats and beautiful smile, Kate Middleton probably has some really unattractive quality about her, like eating potato chips in bed or something crazed like that.

Own your flaws ladies, they are gorg. I sure as hell am.

3 thoughts on “The Vanillas …

  1. I loved this post! Really good points all around, and I can completely relate to comparing myself to a ‘vanilla’ girl, and feeling like a total failure as I look in the mirror and realize I have a toothpaste stain on my shirt, my hair looks like I rubbed it for a solid hour on a balloon, my makeup has taken off, and I’m just generally wrinkled. But one thing that bugged me was the fact that you seem to implying that Kate Middleton is a ‘vanilla’ girl.. I disagree. I think she has her flaws, and recognizes them. Yes, when she’s in public, she doesn’t have a hair out of place.. but I’m sure she has an entire entourage for that. She still isn’t perfect though.. and I think that’s a good thing! She looks like a normal woman (albeit quite skinny) that has someone to do her hair and press her clothes.

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