Straight up … I want to bring hats back. I’ve wanted to bring hats back for months … so now I will. Perhaps with the Kentucky Derby being on Saturday has kick-started my campaign for hats, but regardless … they need to make a massive, absurd comeback to the point where people have bumper stickers and pins that say “I Heart Hats.”

Let me be specific, I’m not talking about baseball hats. Ick. Not a fan personally. I’m not talking about those awful Kangol hats either, or beanies, or those trendy, hipster crocheted-like beret things girls were rocking like two years ago. (I would know … I totally had one.) I’m talking about proper hats from back in the day. When I look at pictures of old Hollywood with fierce women in great hats (like the picture here), I melt. THAT is a woman. THAT is what being a woman is all about, ladies. We have forgotten. It isn’t about wearing leather chaps and putting lobster claws over your nipples to see how much you can shock the American public. It is about the classic elegance that comes with being a lady. We forget because our society has … but that is why we are bringing hats back, RIGHT?!

Sure, some may say that Kate Middleton has been trying to bring them back since she became “Kate Middleton,” but I’m calling hogwash on that because A. She’s royal now and that’s how royals roll, B. She’s English … and that is how the English roll, C. … doesn’t she get spanked or something if she doesn’t wear a hat? I mean seriously … we barely brush our hair nowadays, let’s up the ante, ladies. And sure, Kim Kardashian has been known to rock a great hat, but I’m on to her. She is trying to make them trendy and then they will go to the land of faded trends. I’m trying to make them stick her, Kim K. Back up sister.

But there was a time when hats weren’t just trendy. They were a staple. You had your dress, you gloves, you hat, your heels, and I imagine a parasol or something dainty like that. Those were the days. Sure, it is nice to not have to dress to the 9’s every day of our existence, but honestly … I feel like people take advantage of it. There are no longer appropriate dress code lines. People wear sweatpants to the damn Capitol Grille. Really? Hi, if I’m eating a bazillion dollar piece of meat and washing it down with a bazillion dollar glass of wine, I don’t want to see the word “Champion” stitched on ANYTHING, okay? Get it together people. But I’m not on a mission to get the American public to stop dressing like slobs, I’m here strictly on a mission for hats.

The hats that I am thinking about have so much drama, so much interest and have the potential to be SUCH a fierce conversation starter. Wearing a statement hat makes you stand out of the crowd. All of a sudden you’re not just another brunette, you’re the brunette in the strikingly beautiful hat that everyone wants to talk to. And I’m all about making moments happen. I don’t know about you but when I make a fashion statement or have a fierce fashion moment, like walking into a room and having all eyes on you, I want to do a touchdown dance afterwards (not like that has happened to me … YET.)

I can’t help but reference Titanic here. I know, I know … YES I was one of those freaks that saw it 9 times, and YES I’m dying to see it in 3D but no one will go with me. But remember the first scene when we see Rose? All you see is this AMAZING hat, and then she turns around and BAM, we get the full gorgeous look. I mean seriously, THAT is the definition of a hat statement. One that should be emulated.

Perhaps it is just me being fascinated with etiquette, style, manners, accessories and history from back in the day. Perhaps because everything is so casual, blurred and laid back now. Men don’t open doors, or do the grand gestures like they once did. They hardly pick up the phone, and when a relationship is over, they just don’t text anymore. Hold on and let me swoon. It’s AW-FUL. But I have this hope that with hats will come the chivalry … well, I mean one could hope, right?

So since the Kentucky Derby is on Saturday … I found this to be a great open door for us all to start rocking some hats. I know it can be awkward at first because it really isn’t a common look in our society. But it is time to break barriers, reset the tone of a chaotic, loud, busy, outrageous society … and bring it down to simpler times. And I personally REALLY love the idea of tipping the brim of my hat to greet people. The concept is amazing. “Good day, sir.”

So go buy the hat you’ve picked up a million times in your favorite store, loved so much that you could kiss it, but never purchased because you say to yourself, “honestly, where would I ever wear that?” Go. Buy. It. Now. And feel free to post pictures and tell me how it goes!

Here’s to bringing back the glamour!