Hey Everyone … Come See How Good I Look

There is nothing better than shopping with girlfriends. Getting opinions, laughing at ugly clothes, laughing at others. I mean just like boys have “locker room talk” we most definitely have “dressing room talk,” or so I would like to believe. Only once in a blue moon do I enjoy going shopping by myself because … quite frankly … I make some really heinous clothing decisions when certain people aren’t there to tell me, “No Kate … just … no.”

But while shopping with my best friend recently, she brought a very valid fact to my attention. So we were in Forever 21 and I found this great polka-dotted dress. Now, we all know how I feel about Forever 21 and dresses. Basically for girls like me who are 5’9 and curvy … well … it just doesn’t work out. I want it to desperately, but I usually end up look like a dime store hooker who shouldn’t be let out in public. But regardless, I try these things on in hopes that I won’t look like a dime store hooker. So I tried this dress on with my fingers crossed and too my amazement, it actually covered my ass and was actually kind of cute.

So I of course beckoned my friend to come take a look since I was a little concerned that it was a bit too tight, but she reassured me that it wasn’t … after I asked her a million times. “Are you sure?” “Yes, Kate.” “No seriously, do I look fat?” “No Kate.” “But I feel like it is a little tight, could I wear this to work?” “You don’t look fat, and yes Kate, you could.” “Seriously?” “Yes, get the damn dress!” But the whole time while I was having this ridiculous conversation, I was staring at myself in the mirror checking out the dress from all sides, but mostly … well … from the side. And that is when my friend brought this to my attention. Every girl does that. When looking at themselves in a new piece of clothing, we always turn to the side first to check it out. Why? It is so odd. I know for me it is like a reflex to check myself out from the side. It is like the go-to stance … am I the only one who does this?

I’m not one to spend hours in a dressing room. I either know it looks good or I don’t and I move on. But it was a very interesting observation to notice that I always turn to the side to observe a garment before buying it. Perhaps it is to see my curves and to make sure my giggly bits are all in place … who the hell knows. It is like a dressing room dance. Turn to the right, press the fabric down, look, turn the left, press the fabric down again … look. Stand to the front with your hands on your hips … look. And again, turn to the right, wiggle around in the dress a bit until the decision is made.

Not to mention all the crazytown things that go through your head when you are contemplating buying a garment. “I kind of like this.” “It is a little tight, but I feel like I could make it work.” “Maybe I should wear a slip with this.” “Who am I kidding, I look like a cow.” “But this dress does make me feel really good.” “I would totally regret not buying this.” “Do I look like a skank …  I totally look like a skank.” “Do polka dots make me look fat, I mean they kind of look flattering, but am I kidding myself.” “This would be such a go-to dress for a night out in the city.” “I definitely couldn’t wear this to work … unless I wanted to make some sort of statement, but would people judge me?” “Eff it … I’ll buy the damn dress … it’s $13 for christ’s sake!” “I should probably get spanks … but how much do spanks cost? Spanks aren’t cute … no spanks.”

So ladies, if you find yourself in a dressing room doing the dance and having all these crazytown thoughts … know you aren’t alone. And quite frankly, turning to the side … well … I’m going to tell myself that it is a good angle to check yourself out in. My theory, you know within 10 seconds of trying something on if you love it. If you have to think about it and or talk yourself into buying it, then you don’t need it. Plain and simple. With most things in life, go with your gut.

In other news, I feel like I should make a Ru Paul-esque music video about the dressing room dance. Sachey. Chantey. ::::Z snap::::


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