My sincere apologies for being so MIA. I’ve been feeling under the weather and finally pulled myself out of the dark hole of hell also known as strep throat … or so my quack doc says. But regardless … Happy Fourth of July! I love nothing more in life than watching fireworks … probably because I’m attracted to shiny, colorful things … I digress though.

People are all about Fourth of July fashion this year, and for me I feel like it is only when it isn’t Memorial Day, Fourth of July or Labor Day that I end up looking like the American flag threw up all over me. For example, about three weeks ago (give or take) I ended up going to work looking like the more modest version of Wonder Woman. Yeah … I know, right? I bet you are wondering if I have mirrors in my house, and yes I do … but sometimes in the deep dark hours of the morning … they are dirty dirty liars. But regardless, I ended up rocking an electric blue midi skirt, a fabulous red top and gold cuffs. It wasn’t until I sat down at my desk, enjoying my cup of tea that I let the gold cuff catch my eye and made me think, “holy shit … I’m Wonder Woman.”

But now that it is the Fourth … I’m trying to concoct some sort of patriotic look because gosh darn it I do love me some AMURICA … that’s right, AMURICA … not AMERICA. But for the life of me I feel like everything is too literal and over the top. Navy blue strapless dress with white polka dots and red sandals … I mean I mine as well wear a Statue of Liberty shaped crown on my head … for the love. Perhaps blue jean shorts and a red t-shirt … I mean was I late for the casting of the “Little Pink Houses” video or something … wear are my cowboy boots!? Hell, maybe I’ll just rock the Wonder Woman look again and call it a day … because nothing is more AMURICAN than Wonder Woman.

Eh screw it … I’ll probably end up wearing black and rocking some festive accessories … and not because I don’t love Amurica … but simply because that is how I roll when I’m not feeling 100% healthy. And by accessories I mean a red, white and blue firecracker popsicle in one hand and a red daiquiri in the other.

So from all of us here at Life Sucks in a Strapless Bra, and by everyone I mean yours truly … have a happy and safe Fourth of July. And because I lecture all of you during every big drinking day … ahem: Don’t be idiotic be PATRIOTIC and don’t drink and drive for the LOVE of God. BBQ … drink … pass out and repeat … and do it all at a reasonable hour with designated drivers since most of us have to work tomorrow (thanks holiday Gods … psyche).