Bringing Buttons Back

You know when you wake up in the morning and you are like shit out of luck when it comes to thinking up outfits to wear to work? Usually I’ll brainstorm the night before or when I’m continuously hitting snooze and pretending the clock isn’t really telling me it is time to start my day … but today, I wasn’t getting any “outfit magic” if you will. So luckily while I was applying mascara I realized, “hey … my favorite sheer green shirt! That guy hasn’t made an appearance in a while … SOLD!” So I dug into my closet, threw on my shirt, a pair of skinny jeans, leopard flats … and went on my way.

I thought I was looking good … in a lazy, comfy kind of way. It wasn’t until I was talking to a co-worker that I noticed, oh yeah … evidence that I actually brushed my teeth that day … and I’m not talking about giving off minty fresh breath. Oh no … I looked down to find a big white tooth paste stain on the front of my sheer shirt. Shit.  You would think stains come out of sheer shirts easily … but wrong. Especially tooth paste. Tooth paste is like cement on fabric … any fabric. I ran to the bathroom to try to remedy the stain with dabbing water, which only made it worse and more noticeable … and now with bits of paper towel stuck it to. Faaaaaaan-tastic.

I walked back to my desk defeated, embarrassed even feeling like this white stain was doing the God damn Macarena  on the front of my shirt. Hmph … so what to do, what to do. True, my hair covered a part of it … just a part, but what were the odds my hair would stay in the same place all day. I take my daily stress out on my hair … flipping it, running my hands through it, tucking it behind my ears, trying to pull it out … you know, the usual.

And then I had a stroke of genius … FLAIR. Mama needed some flair to cover up the embarrassment. I had to have something in my cave of wonders, also known as my desk, that I could stick on myself to regain some normalcy. But alas, I was S-O-L. I started making my rounds to my co-workers, asking for flair … stickers, pins, a scarf, a flower … some-thang. And finally … someone happened to have some SWEET neon buttons. They were tiny, but my saving grace. So I took two to cover up my Macarena-ing stain. Silly? Yes. Awesome? For sure. Innovative? My God … absolutely.

I learned a valuable lesson today. You can try all you want to look absolutely fab and stylish. But stains happen to the best of us. And if they don’t happen to you then I hate you. Seriously. But no, when stains happen, you need to roll with the punches. The style goes out the window a bit, and the need for fantastic flair takes over … because you immediately go into style-survivor mode. You can cry and blush when someone makes an inappropriate comment about the after Macarena-ing stain … or you can cover it up with something funny slash awesome and walk around with pride and a sense of humor. A sense of humor on a chick is one of the sexiest things you can have … trust me. Well don’t trust me because at the end of the day I have no idea what men find sexy … but I find anyone having an amazing sense of humor kinda hot. Truth.

Also … buttons? They rock … we should totally bring them back. Yep. I’m bringing buttons back. Decision made.


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