2013 is here and I don’t know about you, but I get the urge to revamp every aspect of my life this time of year. I feel empowered to work harder, try new things, get healthy (although I am not one of those diet-obsessed/gym membership-crazed freaks), and really just get the urge to start kicking ass and taking names. It feels amazing … even if I know it may or may not last.

But I also find myself VERY bored with my overall appearance. I’m literally yawning at myself in the mirror. I feel like my hair style hasn’t changed since early 2002, which concerns me. Have you ever seen those women with the hairstyles from the 1980’s who think they look absolutely smashing, but clearly are unaware of the fact that 20 years have passed? Am I that person now?! Are ” the kids” laughing at me saying like, “wow, nice straight hair from 2002, granny!” Eek!

So I had an Ulta gift card burning a hole in my pocket, and thought why not start revamping my look with some new glam-a-lam. There were two definite things I ran out of that I needed, but besides that I had an open mind. When I got there, I had extreme makeup ADD. My mind was literally going, “oh Stila, but wait … Smashbox lip glosses?! OMG stop … Bare Minerals … ahhh!” Like I could NOT focus for the life of me.

In essence … here is why I cannot shop in stores that strictly just sell beauty products.

1. The pretty colors distract me: I know, I’m five. But seriously, the way the makeup lines are set up with all the pretty colors and containers exposed makes it extremely difficult for me to focus on one thing. I’m like jumping from lip glosses to shadows to different brands to hair dryers in seconds. Not only that it’s like lip glosses, eye shadows, nail polishes, hair styling tools, spa items, bags, hair accessories … like my sweet Jesus … enter anxiety attack stage left.

2. Idiots Work There: I mean no disrespect and I’m not saying ALL people that work in these stores are idiots, but if you are working in a department that sells $40 lip glosses … you should probably know a thing or two about A. customer service and B. the product itself. I was clearly wandering around like a lost fool in front of these two sales associates today who were having a really vibrant conversation about their college experience and what they wanted to do with their lives. “:::twirls hair::: Like I have a broadcasting degree … but like, you can’t really do a lot with it, so I’m just here for now until I figure something else out.” Seriously, that’s fantastic and all … I’m glad your educated, but mama needs help picking out products. Help a sista out, for the love of God! They didn’t even acknowledge me, and I really didn’t want to ask their opinions because I just had this inkling that they would turn me into Snooki. And yeah … no.

3. Brand Overload: We all have brands that we are loyal to for one reason or another, but like I said … new year, time to branch out a little. But how do you know what is good and what isn’t? Sure, you can read all the reviews and ask for opinions … but at the end of the day everyone’s skin and style is different, so really you are forced to just test products blindly. No offense, but buying a $20 eye liner without knowing for a fact that I am going to adore it doesn’t seem too appealing to me. They blind us with brand bling … yet I have no guarantees.

4. The Necessities: I went into Ulta for two products, but had an open mind for some new thangs. I found myself torn between what I needed and what I wanted. I wanted to try out a dark red lipstick, but I needed new gold-ish eye shadow because I knew I was going to run out shortly. I wanted the cool new colors from Smashbox, but needed a new Mascara. Hence why I was walking around the department like a lost fool. The stylish angel on my shoulder was pushing me one way while the saucy devil on the other was trying to get me to do bad things.

5. I’m Super Cheap: The beauty behind Sephora is that they don’t give you the “cheaper” option. They are literally like too f-ing bad … we have high-end brands and if you must go slightly cheaper, we have the Sephora brand for you … which is still kind of pricy. But with Ulta you have one side full of glitzy, higher-end brands, and then the classic Revlon, Almay, Covergirl, etc. on the other side. So when I find a $20 designer eye shadow and fall in love with it … I end up going to the other side to go find it for cheaper. That’s just how I roll.

So there ya have it. I literally didn’t step out of my makeup comfort zone because I got so overwhelmed by all of the above. Sigh … damn you Ulta … you’ve won this one.