I’m not sure who thought it would be a good idea to let Hollywood experiment with punk fashion … but umm … yeah.
I desperately wanted Debbie Harry and Patti Smith to show up and like break shit and give everyone the finger and scream a lot and then leave … but alas it didn’t happen. Instead we had to watch starlets awkwardly play around with punk .. which, quite frankly, was painful.
I’m in no way, shape or form “punk” … and I think it is an incredibly hard style to pull off … because punk wasn’t about the style. It just happened … the music made it all come to life. It wasn’t because a stylist said … “ooh studs! SOOOOO punk.” It was because they literally didn’t give a shit. These people … live to give a shit. They get PAID to give a shit. Hence why it doesn’t work. And yes, the Met Gala is about experimenting with fashion, paying homage to it and living out a real life costume ball … but perhaps let’s pick a theme more obtainable.
For the following things do NOT count as paying homage to punk.
1. An overly dramatic smoky eye … yawn.
2. Baroque print dresses … wrong movement there, lady
3. Feathered ball gowns … unless you murdered the bird before the Gala and stuck its feathers to your dress, then that counts.
4. Platinum blonde hair … perfectly styled … just for funsies … tee hee I like, always wanted to do it
5. Faux hawks … amateur
6. Dramatic trains … unless an actual psycho path ripped up the material in the back … doesn’t count
7. Sheer black ball gowns … nice try, slackers
8. Floral print … … … I will have nightmares about Kimye’s look though
9. High slits … not the Grammy’s … go home
10. Cut out dresses … too trendy, holmes
So I will leave you with this thought: Why wasn’t there more Alexander McQueen where there wasn’t Alexander McQueen. That guy is probably in the after life kicking and screaming like, “WHY AREN’T MY DRESSES REPRESENTED!!!!! PUNK! HELLO?!”
And now …