Some Thoughts On A $60 Dress

sarah-silverman-cheap-dress-2013-emmys_350x350Sick of hearing about the red carpet at the Emmy’s yet? Oh come on, you know you want to read just ONE more blog post about it.

I was overall impressed by the red carpet at the Emmys this year. A smidge too much of J. Mendel for my liking, and the fact that Carrie Underwood actually wore a prom dress thoroughly disturbed me, but besides that, I’ll tip my cap to the stylists behind the stars.

So I was sitting on my couch with my cat, sweatpants, hair in messy bun, sans makeup … watching the red carpet and acting like I’m seeing my best friends strike a pose in couture. Yet let’s be real, I don’t know these people. I just know the roles they play on my fav TV shows. But I clear my schedule to endure two hours of them being asked inane questions by Ryan Seacrest and showing off everything down to their manicures in a weird little devil box known as the “mani cam.” Seriously though … with the mani cam, E!?

So when I heard Sarah Silverman state that her dress happened to be off the rack and $60, my frugal, realistic side wanted to give her a slow clap. FINALLY, a star going against the mold and wearing something I could purchase. FINALLY, showing that a dress can be under $100 and still be fantastic enough for the red carpet. Because God help me if I was ever invited to the Emmys, with my luck I would run into Heidi Klum and she would be all, “I’m wearing Versace, who are you wearing?” And I would be all, “Phillip Lim … for Target … that I bought on a shady street corner … and I’m pretty sure it’s fake :::backs away slowly:::.”

But then I remembered something. These people make a ba-zillion dollars. Literally. I’m watching Ryan Seacrest babble and make people awkwardly walk their hands down an undersized red carpet because I want to live vicariously through them. I want to go to bed dreaming of Prada dresses and Roger Vivier stilettos. I want to salivate over Fred Leighton jewels. It’s sad … but let’s be real here. That’s why we watch these silly shows. To escape our lives and pretend to live in the land of glitz and glam for just a mere moment. It is a night with waves of harsh judgement and critique, and a lot of “she looks a hawt mess,” but my GOD does it feel good.

So, while I appreciate the statement Sarah Silverman made on the red carpet, I just kind of wanted her dipped in jewels and luxurious fabrics made by the God known as Marc Jacobs. Kind of … just a little. You’re famous. You make good money. You’re pretty … and even if you weren’t, you probably could hire a team of people to make you pretty. Seriously … as disgusted as I am with myself for saying this, I just want you to make me hate my life a little bit because you look so damn good in a dress I could only afford if I sold my body on the black market.


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