I randomly stumbled upon a cassette tape, yes a cassette tape, of the epic album, No Strings Attached, by the talented band once known as N’SYNC. It’s funny, I can’t remember what I did yesterday, but I sure do know every lyric to “Digital Get Down.”

But finding that cassette tape not only made me feel ridiculously old, but it sent me down memory lane to a simpler time when I was 13. When IMing my crush was the biggest drama I had in my life. When rushing only happened after school so I didn’t miss a drop of TRL (Carson Daily, swoon). And when my mother should have probably owned stock in Steve Madden shoes since I was obsessed.

When I was 13, it was 2000, and every girl had these Steve Maddens:

Oh come now, you know you had a pair, too. You either got the two inch platforms, or the four inch … I always wanted the four but being a 13-year-old who was already 5’8, I decided it was a bad idea since all the boys I liked were hardly pushing five feet. And the Steve Madden logo on the back of the shoe ALWAYS fell off … ALWAYS, leading me to have to super glue it back on so people knew they were legit Steve Maddens. It was a BIG to do.

But those white platforms were my Steve Madden gateway drug. I couldn’t stop after that. When I finally got a computer AND the interwebs (which was AOL, clearly … hi, I’m old), I would stalk the Steve Madden website for new styles, and drool over them whilst walking through Macy’s. And some how my mom was crazy enough to buy me the styles I wanted … which looking back were HEI-NOUS. No, beyond heinous. I don’t know who I thought I was … just kidding, I know who I thought I was … Britney Spears … duh.

Seriously though, each pair my mom bought me had a three plus inch platform, and I’m pretty sure were made for the sole purpose of strippers using them whilst working the pole. But I coveted them like they were Manolo Blahniks. I would line them up perfectly in my closet and drag my fingers over them lightly, humming and daydreaming. I never REALLY wore them, though because like I said, I was a 13-year-old who was 5’8 … hence if I DID wear them I turned into gangly gigantor with a palate expander and braces. So basically I wore them in my room or in my basement trying to learn the moves to the new Britney Spears video. Yep. Enjoy that visual.

I wish I could find pictures of the sweet platforms I once owned, but alas the interwebs must have banned them due to their ugliness, for I could not find a drop of evidence that they even existed. I’ll leave you with this visual, though: White patent leather with a black four inch sole. Boom.