It might sound nuts that I cannot find the right maxi dress, right? I mean they are everywhere. My GOD, they sell them at freaking Walgreens, for crying out loud. But real talk for a minute, I get it if a Walgreens at the shore (or the beach for you non-tri-state area folk) sell maxis, but one right outside of a city? Really? Stop it. No one wants any of that. But I digress.
The last time I found a maxi dress I wanted to live in was about three years ago at Loehmans (RIP … pouring some out for the raddest store EVER). It was one of those garments that I had no problem wearing once or twice a week. It was everything. And then I shrunk it like an idiot. And no one wants to wear a maxi that comes up to your calf … am I right?
Since then I’ve been living in maxi skirts, which, don’t get me wrong, rule … but sometimes I don’t feel like pairing a shirt together with a maxi skirt, alright? Yes. I’m literally THAT lazy. I just want to throw on a maxi dress and be done with it. I preferably one that doesn’t have chevron print on it. I mean that is what summer is all about.
Right now I find myself having what I like to call “MDE”… Maxi Dress Envy. Specifically with Kristen Taekman of the Real Housewives of New York. She’s currently the only one I don’t want to throw a shoe at, so that is saying something, right? But her maxi dress game is on POINT. Everyone I want to rip off her body, Cinderella step sisters-style. Look at the one below (sorry for the shitty image). Now this is something that I would live in until Labor Day. I mean mind you it would be a stained hot mess by then, but at least I would be comfortable.
You know how they say insanity is doing the same thing over and over again? Perhaps they are right. I’ve been going to my same old stomping grounds, H&M, Urban, Zara, TJ Maxx … and just haven’t had any luck. Yet I keep going there over and over again and keep getting let down. And then someone brought “LOFT” to my attention. And I am using quotes because (now don’t throw anything at me) LOFT is Satan to me. I loathe it. So much that I have never stepped foot in there. I can’t tell you why, I just do.
BUT in the same breath, I am all about “pieces.” In no way shape or form is my wardrobe from one store only. I have Marc Jacobs all the way down to Target. I’m not a label snob (unless you are buying a maxi dress from Walgreens outside of a city, then you will get an eye roll from me). So perhaps one item from LOFT won’t kill me, right? I am that desperate (and I know I’m probably offending lots of LOFT lovers, which is not my intention … love you, kisses?).
So here I go on my journey of exploring stores I’ve never stepped foot in just to find the perfect maxi I can rock all summer. Talbots, I’m coming for you!
Hahahaha … kidding. Never. Never ever will I EVER step foot in there. Only because I did once for a job when I was in high school. They told me I would have to wear a suit and Fridays were considered “casual” where employees wore aprons over their suits … and then I left. I think I left so quickly there was a dust imprint of my body still standing in front of the store manager. Bitch, please.
Life Sucks In A Strapless Bra 
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