Oh, Em, Gee. Sandals.

Let our feet be free! It was a joy to kick my boots to the curb. An honest to God joy. Seeing for the first time my feet, which had only been randomly manicured by yours truly during the chilly months prior, well … that was a different story. Woof.

But once a pedicure was secured, I was ready to dive head first into sandal season. I literally wanted to do the back stroke in a sea of cute gladiators and thong flops. Nothing would have pleased me more. But where does a gal begin?

I’m pretty sure you could walk into one store, find a smashing pair of black gladiators for $150, say “bitch, please,” walk into a more “economically friendly” store and see the (almost) same pair for under $50, and say “that’s more like it.” Even though I swoon over delicious high-end brands, I just don’t see spending over $100 on sandals. (Unless someone wants to buy me a pair, then of course, OMG expensive sandals, you shouldn’t have!)

Don’t get me wrong, I believe in investing in pieces. A sun dress? Absolutely, where do I swipe my credit card? Sandals just don’t happen to be something I see worth investing in unless they have a heel. Specifically because my favorite sandals come from the land of Forever 21. They are amazing and last. AND LAST. For example, I bought a pair around 2 years ago, wore them when I went tubing (I don’t do “water shoes”), washed them by hand afterward, and still got a full 2 summers worth of wear out of them. And they were under $20. Hello? You can’t beat that. I’m sorry.

In a world where we have 500 different versions of black sandals in different styles … where the hell do you start, am I right? Well … calm down, take a deep breath and let me outline for you the best sandal-styles to invest in for summer 2k14. And once you snag these … the sandal world is your oyster. Get all freaky with them if you please. Just don’t wear Birkenstocks with socks … or you will be dead to me. DEAD, I say, DEAD!

The simple black pair you can literally wear with anything and everything:


Saucy brown pair you could (almost) wear with anything:


A wedge (sandal … not salad):


A sandal for those Xena Warrior Princess days:


Ones with a pop of color/personality:


Just promise you won’t rock these … promise?:




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