If you’ve been following me on Instagram, you are probably wondering, “why is this bitch turning into a full blown cat lady?” For the past three days it has been all about cats, simply because, well, I got poisoned by something I ate which landed me in the hospital. Yes. The hospital. None of it was cute. Not that any illness is “cute” per say … but I would have preferred to have to discuss the symptoms of anything besides food poisoning with a male doctor who is a stranger, and probably my age. Ugh … I lost a piece of my dignity for sure.
And because I’ve been trying to pretend I’m a different more fantastic human soul than I actually was the past couple of days, I’ve been forced to shine a light on the positives whilst dealing with such a non-chic illness. So here is what I’ve come up with. And hopefully, if you (God forbid) end up not feeling your finest, remember the following things … ahem:
1. I’m giving my skin a break. I haven’t turned the light on at my makeup table in literally three days. Nothing but moisturizer has touched my skin in literally three days. Normally I would be mortified that my naked face would frighten children, but alas, I am just straight chillin’ with my cats. This is a perfect opportunity to purify and just get “au natural” if you will.
2. I torture my hair on the reg. All day err day I’m taking 450 degree torture devices to my follicles, straightening and curling and de-frizzing, and dying, and de-tangling. I’m a straight up hair abuser. But not in the past three days. My hair hasn’t been touched by a brush, nor has it been touched by any styling devices. It basically hasn’t left bun form. Sure, it may look like a rats nest, but it is getting rest, just like my body is. There is nothing better than styling your hair after a few days of giving it rest. It’s like buttah … trush.
3. I’m sure we are all guilty of not drinking enough water. Lucky enough for me, by doctors orders, I was told I had to drink water … or bad things would happen. What those bad things were, I have no idea. Dehydration? Fainting? Who knows … but I wasn’t about to mess with it. And like Zoolander says, “moisture is the essence of wetness and wetness is the essence of beauty.” Beautiful skin and complexion just doesn’t happen without being properly hydrated. That lesson is learned with age, ladies and gents.
Aaaaaand that’s about it. I wouldn’t wish what I had on my worst enemy, but alas, at least I took advantage of the situation to give my entire body, and beauty regime, a rest.
Most of all … I’m looking forward to waking up tomorrow morning and making myself look a little less like this. It’s starting to get worrisome …