For some reason, the moment the season changed to fall, I feel like an angry mob of people who hate Ugg boots and pumpkin spiced everything have emerged carrying pitch forks and torches.
Don’t get me wrong, I loathe Ugg boots and pumpkin spiced everything. It drives me nuts. #CrunchingLeavesInUggBoots makes me want to vom, but that is my personal opinion. If you get down with pumpkin latte’s all day err day, who am I to judge, right? Well this angry mob of basic haters says something different.
Basic Bitch, defined by Urban Dictionary, is, and I quote, “a bum-ass woman who thinks she is the shit but really ain’t.” … … … … yeeeeaaaah … I’m just going to let you take a moment to let that sink in. I wish I were kidding.
When you Google, “being basic,” articles like “how basic are you?” a Buzzfeed quiz, and “50 signs you are dating a basic bitch,” pops up. Well I took that Buzzfeed quiz, kids, and it told me I’m not basic, buuuuuuuut I have some minor basic tendencies. Sorry I watch Keeping Up With The Kardashians and claim my yoga teacher has “changed my life,” and drink vodka sodas because I love vodka, NOT because of the lack of calories … and P.S. I call them vodka clubs, a-thank you very much (P.S. saying P.S. was so basic of me, right?)
Listen, I will never drag a boyfriend to go pumpkin picking with me, and I believe I just donated my last and final North Face Denali jacket to the homeless, but what I cannot understand, for the life of me, is why being “basic” has turned into this awful plague stylish girls do not want to catch. Seriously … in the fashion world, being basic mine as well means you have two weeks to live. It’s the worst.
I won’t lie to any of you (seriously, when do I ever), but when I took that Buzzfeed quiz and it listed all of these “basic” things we should check off if we indulge in, I kept getting more and more enraged thinking, “who would do that!?!? Who truly actually has a brunch club.” It kind of made me want to bang my head against the wall. But then I stopped and thought to myself, “hey, self, I have friends and family who like this shit … maybe I should shut up.” And I did. Well I didn’t, I just kept the thoughts to myself.
We likes what we likes, and sometimes we are afraid of turning into things, like a bitch, our mothers (not me, though, mine rules, I totally want to be my mom … shout out to my ma!), boring, hated, and most recently … basic. But before you pass judgement and decide to not indulge in something for fear you will have to walk the earth wearing the scarlett “B,” think about if you really like it. And hey, if you really like leaves crunching underneath your Ugg boots as you pumpkin pick with your BF/GF who wears a plaid shirt from J. Crew … my friend, go on with your bad self. Who are we to judge.
GOD we need to stop calling each other “basic bitches” because it makes it okay for other people to call us “basic bitches,” and that just isn’t cool. Alright, everyone take some rubbers. (How basic of me to quote Mean Girls, right? See … I’m still breathing)
Life Sucks In A Strapless Bra 
Okay, I have feelings. I think the buzz around basic bitches stems from our desire to be unique and special. And a very large part of me thinks that’s a good thing, that there’s a cultural phenomenon focused on being unique and not part of the crowd. I think that’s needed, and it’s awesome. I also think there’s classist attitude to it. Like I feel like calling someone basic is the equivalent of someone on Downton Abbey calling someone “common.” And believe me, I’m down with the Victorian insults. But it’s probably not great to make fun of someone just for liking things. I feel like this is bringing up a lot of the same issues I’ve encountered debating punk counterculture. And if making punk this exclusive scene where if you like sports, you’re not punk, are you then perpetrating the same type of prejudice that lead you to seek out identification with a counterculture group to begin with? It’s super complicated.
I have always tried to seek out interesting things that are outside the norm and counterculture and a little less mass market. But I also love Starbucks and pumpkin picking and recipes off Pinterest and a ton of “basic” things.
I think the buzz quiz is so ridiculous and quite obnoxious. This phenomena to call each other basic bitch or by derogatory terms is crazy to me. It always has been, not sure why it is trending.