For real. Like if she could skin Pharrell and wear him, she would. Well, yeah, that is totally true, but I kind of think she wants to be best friends with him SLASH adopt him, which would basically leave my sibs and I without a parent because I mean … how do you compete with Pharrell?
Why am I writing about this? Well, my mom is pretty much the most stylish person I know, and I’m not just saying that because she birthed me. Listen, I won’t give away her age because that isn’t proper, but the woman looks like she is in her 40’s and most definitely is not (fingers crossed I got some of those genes). She schools me in shopping, coming home with the coolest pieces that I would die for, for insane prices. I would attempt to snake them from her but oh that’s right, she’s a five foot nothing stick figure and I’m, well, a monster.
I’m not sure when her Pharrell obsession started. She definitely wasn’t getting down to N.E.R.D. years back, and basically had no idea he has his hands in like every chart topping song over the past decade. “Pharrell sings on Blurred Lines … what?!” she exclaimed recently. I think it was when the “Happy” phenomenon hit. She works at a store that plays “trendy-ish” music, so I suppose she heard it there. And then I showed her the music video, which made hearts pop out of her eyes. And every time we are in the car together, as I’m listening to some ridiculous oldies song like “Give Me The Night,” she asks me politely to scan the radio to find her “song,” which means anything and everything Pharrell.
It’s not just his music she likes, though. She’s obsessed with his style. He’s totally her style sensei. Oddly enough, I think they would make a stunning pair of best friends. Don’t ask me why I think that. If Pharrell is as “zen” as everyone says he is, well they would be just like peas and carrots.
My mom: KATE! Did you see the sweater Pharrell was wearing on that music show last night?! I need it! Did you watch it?
Me: What music show? No.
My mom: YouTube it!
My mom: Did you watch?
My mom: Come on!
Me: Fine, fine I’ll do it now.
Me: Mom, that sweater is definitely Chanel.
My mom: I NEED IT! We can find a knock-off, right?
That conversation actually happened. And here is the sweater. It’s pretty rad, right?
Now that Pharrell is a judge of the Voice, which is a show my mom and I like to watch together, it’s kind of our thing (cute, right?), the lusting after Pharrell’s style has been taken to a whole new level. Seriously. If people don’t choose Team Pharrell she gets infuriated. “Why would anyone not choose him?! I would TOTALLY be Team Pharrell.” If anyone of you knows the Voice, the “blind auditions” take FOR-EV-ER, and the judges literally don’t change outfits for like four long episodes. While I was drooling over Gwen Stefani’s boots and Gwen Stefani in general, my mom had her eyes set on Pharrell’s necklaces, which again, were Chanel, I believe. See below. They rule. And they continued to tease her throughout all of the Blind Auditions.
My mom: I need those necklaces.
Me: They are cool, but they are Chanel.
My mom: Pharrell and I need to be best friends. He’s just seems so nice. He would just give one to me. He would be like, “here you go,” :::puts imaginary necklace around her neck:::
Pharrell, if you are reading this, which you totally are because psshh why wouldn’t you be, the joy you bring my mother is an awesome thing to watch. To the way she turns up the beat and rocks out in the car to your most recent jams to the way you inspire her style (although I don’t foresee her wearing an over-sized hat anytime soon), it is rad thing to witness. I really hope you are as chill and “zen” as people say … which I believe you are. So be best friends with my mom, kay? You’re a match made me stylish heaven. And then I can steal her Chanel necklaces you give her. BOOM.