From first grade until third grade, in every school pic I took, I was wearing a vest with a turtle neck underneath. And it wasn’t like a cool pink fleece vest or a Micky Mouse embroidered vest, no. It was a straight up plaid vest and I have no idea how my mother got me to wear it. She couldn’t get me to wear jeans, but hey I guess I held vests to a different standard. I suppose I thought it was “fancy,” … so fancy I wore it for numerous school pics like an idiot. I can only tell what age I was by home many teeth I had … sad, right? I would share the pics with you, but they are down in my basement in a Tupperware container, and I’m terrified of my basement, so no.
And come on, we ALL fell down the Old Navy Performance Fleece rabbit hole, right? I totally had a light blue one when I was in middle school and rocked that shit like it was nobody’s business. I even added a Paul Frank monkey charm to the zipper. I mean … uber chic. Now let me torture you with the Old Navy Performance Fleece commercial … oh yeah, it’s happening, welcome to the jungle.
I think Old Navy beat us so hard with their Performance Fleece advertising (I mean I still have the jingle stuck in my head like 15 years later) that vests become so passe. The only person wearing vests after 2003 was Paris Hilton’s dog. Even Super Bad, one of my all-time favorite comedies, hated on vests.
Until now, people, until now. 2014 is the year of the vest. Oh yeah, I’ve been hitting the vest scene HARD, and I gotta say, they are all so good and so chic. In the past week I have purchased three different vests in different styles and fabrics, and I truly cannot get enough. What is happening to the world, right?
I’m sure in a few years, maybe even in a few months, I will look at these vests and be like, “Jesus I was on crack when I bought these.” But until then, I intend fully to roll around in my faux fur vest like a boss because I love it so much I want to marry it.