Wearing Heels To Your First Hockey Game

scrubs-my-nah-nah-nah-worst-athlete-thumbI don’t know if any of you are aware of this, but I hate sports. Always have, probably always will. My family keeps saying a dude who is a HUGE sports fan will come and “sweep me off my feet” and all of a sudden I’ll be wearing his favorite sports jersey, but not up in here. NOT … up in here. So all of you super fan suitors out there, sorry, it just ain’t going to happen.

With that being said, when the Philadelphia Flyers contacted me and asked if I would like to attend a game my knee jerk reaction was, HELL. NO. I write about style, for Christs sake. But then I thought, hey, I’m not one of those girls that are just like, “ew sports … like :::hair twirl::: let’s go to the mall,” I like opening myself up to new experiences.

So I grabbed my friend Kim, who happens to be a huge fan, and decided why the hell not? But what do you wear as an absolute non-fan? I refused to run to Dicks Sporting Goods and buy out the hockey section, but wanted to support the team for fear of getting my ass kicked. Lucky enough for me the Flyers colors are black and orange, and my wardrobe is 99.6% black, so I wore black skinnies, a black top, statement necklace and black booties. Black on black on black.

The minute Kim picked me up she exclaimed, “are you wearing HEELS?!” Well … yes, I was. But they were booties and it was a 2-inch block heel, which I don’t consider a “heel,” per say. “You are going to get laughed out of the game!” she said, continuing to shame me. She also let me know that when she sees ladies wearing heels to any sporting event, she immediately wants to throw stuff at them. Fantastic. I was fucked, clearly. (Side bar: I later found out she was wearing a pencil skirt and button down to the game. Pencil. Skirt. Hello?!)

I walked into the game in anticipation of angry Flyers fans running towards me holding flaming sticks and pitch forks screaming, “SHE’S NOT A REAL FAN, AND SHE’S WEARING HEELS, GET HER!” but it didn’t happen. Once I got comfortable I asked, “so where is the stand that serves Chardonnay,” in a joking, well not really joking, manner, and instead got handed a beer in a plastic sippy cup with a straw. A straw.

The good news is, no one paid attention to what I was wearing. Everyone kind of did their own thing. You had the super fans in Flyers gear, jeans and boots, the girls who were clearly there on a date with a boy, looking awkward AND wearing heels (see, Kim, I wasn’t the only one), aaaand then there were the “ice girls” in electric orange crop tops and tight ass black pants who “cleaned the ice” (I mean …). But don’t worry, us ladies got to look at the “ice gents” in oversized electric orange pullovers and carpenter jeans “cleaning the ice” yeeeeaaaaah … hawt.

I DID learn a valuable lesson though, kids. Crowd around, I want all of you to hear this. Because of course after the game we went for drinks at Xfinity Live, a place I like to refer to as “not my scene.” Never. Ever. NEVER EVER EVER EVER, ride a mechanic bull whilst wearing a crop top. I don’t care how many vodka sodas you’ve had. It’s not sexy. It’s not cute. It doesn’t bring the boys to the yard. Just don’t do it. Promise?

Ps. Big thanks to the Philadelphia Flyers for an amazing first experience. I got to see men getting their nose broken LIVE … what gets better than THAT?!

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