It’s a big deal when I actually drag my ass out to buy workout clothes. That MEANS something. Usually I’ll see something way better than a boring pair of bike shorts, get completely distracted, and come home with a myriad of new outfits, and nothing to wear to the gym … and then the idea of going to the gym fizzles.
New to the world of workout clothes, I decided to make my first stop at Burlington Coat Factory because A. the prices are right and I knew I didn’t want to spend that much on “gear” B. I don’t know that much about workout clothing labels to be a snob C. Lululemon, from what I hear, makes me want to head butt people and things.
My first experience stepping into an “activewear” section of a store was … interesting. I’m going to compare it to attempting to dive into an ice cold pool. You stick your pinky toe in first. You put you hand in, swirl around the water. Maybe coat your body with the ice cold water to acclimate yourself, whilst making a cringe-like face. Contemplate going back to the comfort of your lounge chair, aka the shoe department. But then say, “the hell with it,” and dive right in.
1. Why in the name of sweet Jesus is everything so colorful? Am I working out or crossing the street when it is pitch black outside? Like do people need to see me miles away whilst working out in my neon gear? Or can a sister get some black tanks and yoga pants so my fellow gym-goers don’t see me dying with exhaustion and hate for my out-of-shape self? What is UP with that?
2. Dear Nike, Puma, Champion, and any other brand that thinks it is totally cool to plaster your brand name across my chest. In the words of my Nana, you aren’t paying me to be your walking billboard, therefore I refuse to be your device for free advertising. A little swoosh here and there is peachy, but NIKE in big bold letters across my taas? Stop it.
3. Do I really need to accentuate my breasts whilst working out? A lot of sports bras/tops had built in cups in the bra area. Really? Cups? Do we need to give the illusion that we are a cup size bigger than we actually are whilst working out? Is that a thing? Because look, I’m just trying to get my taas to disappear with some rather comfortable contraption so I can workout in peace without causing a show.
4. Sheer workout tops? Really? Really?! REALLY?
5. Why after five minutes of browsing through workout clothes did I get this weird desire to go to Lululemon. I hate that store and I’ve never even stepped foot in there. Anyone who is charging over $80 for yoga pants is no friend of mine. But this insane fear overcame me that my “workout style” wouldn’t be cool enough. Do ladies even judge workout styles? Wonder if I don’t fit it?! Wonder if everyone DOES wear neon and I’ll just be like a girl from the Craft who works out in the corner all lonesome like a freak? And then I found really cool dark gray yoga pants for $12 and was all, “Lulu … what now?”
I got my outfit. I got my hair did (wait … what), I have my plethora of organic veggies for the week (what a productive Sunday … am I right?). Flywheel Summer Tune-up Challenge, it has been broughten (yeah … you heard me correctly).