I hate to say it, but I’ve turned into a little bit of a Scrooge when it comes to Christmas. Simply because I loathe running errands and interacting with psychotic holiday shoppers. 

But in an effort to not be such a crotchety ol’ bitch, I decided to reflect on my most favorite Christmas ever. Because nothing was more divine than Christmas as a kid, am I right?

While “Santa” brought me some rad gifts throughout my childhood, without even thinking about it, I know which one was my all-time favorite. And something I wish I still had today. 

Two words: Barbie. Car. And not just any Barbie car. A hot pink convertible Barbie car that I could drive at 5 years old. It was glorious. I mean it had a car phone … A CAR PHONE (it was the early 90s).

I was never one of those kids who woke up at 6am to open gifts (I know, I’m a freak). I don’t remember that exact Christmas morning, but they were all pretty much the same. I would wake up around 8am, patiently wait on the landing of my steps for my Aunt to arrive, and then walk into my living room where “Santa” had left all sorts of fun surprises and awesomely wrapped gifts.

But even when the presents had all been opened, and the stockings had been explored, there was always something else waiting to be found. It wasn’t under the tree, hell it usually wasn’t in the same room. But I could always count on the surprise finale. 

“I think I saw something in the den,” my Dad said to me with a ridiculous grin. “Maybe you should go check it out…”  as he winked and elbowed my brother. So I ran into the other room only to find a huge mass with a blanket covering it. I ripped it off to find my first set of wheels. I like to think this feeling I had when I saw it was equivalent to when Oprah told her whole audience, “YOU GET A CAR, AND YOU GET A CAR!” My head could have popped off I was so thrilled.

I drove that thing everywhere. From one side of the yard to the other. Around my house. On the sidewalk. Hell, even inside my house (which I still don’t know how I got away with that one … kind of insane behavior, parents). I was bad ass, what can I say.

Everyone loved this thing, including my Nana, who was barely five foot, and took it out for a spin when she came to visit. To this day it is one of my most pleasant and hilarious memories of my childhood. 

I would offer everyone to use it, including family members who happened to be having car trouble. I thought I was being super generous by offering them my fine set of wheels, and would secretly giggle over the idea of my Dad, in a suit, driving my pink ride down the highway. 

What happened to my Barbie car, you ask? I don’t really recall … I think my parents gave it to some ass clowns (I’m not bitter at all). Apparently it isn’t socially acceptable for a tween to be riding a Barbie convertible around. Whatever, society. I would still be riding that thing around today if I could … you know … for nostalgia purposes, of course :::shifty eyes:::

So there you have it. I don’t think a Christmas could be sweeter. To this day, even though I’m an adult who has lost a piece of her Christmas spirit (which totally sucks, I should work on getting that back), I still wake up and look for that surprise present. Even though I know it won’t be there, it still brings back awesome memories. 

Now tell me, what was your most beloved Christmas present?