Last week I felt extra pumped about being a woman with all the posts celebrating International Women’s Day. Scrolling through my Instagram feed with quote after inspiring quote from fearless ladies, I mean how could you not be insanely proud to be apart of the womankind?
That was until I realized a thing called “Femojis” existed.
What in the living breathing hell, people? While I love me some emojis, do we really need an extra set “just for ladies?” It’s like those awful pink pens “for women.” Unnecessary and kind of make me want to kick you.
I don’t need a special set of emojis to express myself when I have my period, just like I don’t need a special set of “Kimojis” for when I want to tell people I hold near and dear that I decided to be a stripper.
I will say as women we do need to open up more about our periods. I’m not saying talk about your heavy flow and wide set vagina, for crying out loud. I personally have no qualms with announcing that I have awful cramps and want to stab someone (in the right setting of course), but that is just me. Is it appropriate to roll up to a meeting late and be like, “sorry guys, had to change my tampon three times on my way in. Heavy flow this month, what can I say!” Fuck no.
Others are a little more reserved, which is totally fine. But for those reserved people who can’t utter the word “pad” or “tampon,” do we REALLY think they are going to send a text to a friend with a pad emoji in it? Mmmm no. Gross.
Saying the word pad > pad emoji.
And what happened to good ol’ fashion creativity? There are a myriad of fantastic ways to bitch to your friends about period pains through the traditional set of emojis currently on your keyboard.
I have insane cramps:
I’m a hot PMSing mess:
I’m so bloated I feel like I could die:
Don’t fuck with me right now:
While I love that people are making it easier for women to open up about this monthly nuisance most of us suffer with, I just don’t believe the right outlet is through pink emojis of bloated ladies, pads, and yes, don’t forget the best one yet … underpants that have a blood stain on them (dear sweet jesus … my brain just exploded).
So I will end this by saying very clearly that if any of you dare text me an emoji of pink blood-stained underpants, I will give you the ultimate block from my life. As I shake my head and groan obnoxiously, “(wh)Y?!”