I’m High On Fashion Week

So yeah, apparently the devil owns my soul now because I literally just returned from the Vivienne Tam fashion show at Fashion Week in NYC. I am writing to you from my bed, completely exhausted, feet extremely sore, malnourished and parched … yet on the most fabulous kind of high … the one that only Mercedes Benz Fashion Week can create. It literally took a car, a train and a cab to get there … but somehow I made it … on time and everything … AND I didn’t get lost (for those of you who know me, that is really something special, let me tell you.)

So I apologize if none of this makes sense because I am blindly tired, but couldn’t wait to share with you my excursion. After what felt like trying to find a cab during rush hour, I landed one and somehow re-did my makeup and switched out of my flats and into my 4 inch Sam Edelmans, praying to Jesus I didn’t fall because, well that wouldn’t be very street stylish of me now would it. I wore all black, black skinnies, an oversized black tank, my Elizabeth and James black blazer and fierce, studded black heels with chunky gold jewelry. I was going for the “hey I’m chic, but I promise I’m not trying to act cooler than I am,” look. But don’t worry, whenever I saw the Street Style photogs, I tried to strike my best, “oh what, you are taking my picture? But I’m acting so natural right now with my hand on my hip, staring off into space beautifully,” pose … even though I probably looked like a kid in a candy shop with a side of awkward.

Besides the show itself, waiting for the show to start was my favorite part. The people. Jesus. Christ. If you ever need style inspiration, spend some time in the Fashion Week tents. It wasn’t unobtainable fashion at all. Sure there were the occasional women dipped in Chanel and Louboutin but for the most part, every woman I saw could have either pulled their look out of Barneys or Forever 21. Really innovative looks, but I gotta say … a lot of the ladies were rocking the red lip, dark dark hair and bangs … and I was kind of obsessed. I could never rock bangs, but I do enjoy the thought of them. I mean everywhere you looked it was a different style, truly fantastic … I could have stayed there for days watching all of this. Also, it is the one place in the universe where I don’t feel tall. Most women are 6 feet tall, with heels of course … and it is such a treat, you have no idea. The ladies I didn’t enjoy were the ones rocking the full sequin dresses … like why?

So walking into the tents was definitely one of those, “holy shit, I’m here” moments. Since I was solo I think I looked to the random man I was walking in with and made a comment like, “this is amazing” and he took a second to look up from his Blackberry like, “Ha, amateur.” But I got settled, tried to act like I wasn’t a 13-year-old girl about to see her favorite boy band … and finally the lights dimmed.

The show was gorgeous. Simple, but gorgeous. The models, well … couldn’t walk. From where I was sitting, their booties looked like they were MAYBE 4 inches … shouldn’t models know how to walk in 4 inch heels? I mean hell, I made it through Lincoln Center in a pair. The hair was long and disheveled … which I LOVE. It was straight half way and then the ends looked like they were teased to death. Plum was a huge color and a huge color throughout all of fashion week (more to come on this later). One of the most interesting styles I saw was a model wearing a snood, but her long hair was tucked into it in the back. You know when you put on a turtle neck or a high collar jacket and your hair is stuck and you have to fluff it back out? Yeah, she just didn’t. I oddly enough found it really interesting and innovative.

My favorite look was one that involved a pair of colorful cigarette pants with what looked like a wrap dress of some sorts (please excuse my description, I’m cracked out on fashion right now). I loved the dress over the jeans trend from back in the day … so if this is coming back I will be extremely pumped. From the simple gray runway and backdrop with the subdued colors on the runway that will be so warm and cozy for fall to the fabulous music, which I need on my iTunes playlist as soon as I can find it, it was extremely beautiful and well done.

So yeah, here I am, back to reality, not believing I just experienced all of that … but so beyond thankful that I did. I’m probably leaving out a million things, but again, I’m cracked out on fashion. I’m dedicating this post to my fabulous brother who made this happen so sporadically. And I apologize for the quality of the pictures, apparently iPhones don’t take action shots well, right? For the full sha-bang of pictures, check out Life Sucks In A Strapless Bra Tumbles, I will be posting either tonight or tomorrow.

Now excuse me while I go practice my model strut, I mean … sleep.

Not Up In Here 2012 Fashion … Not Up In Here

Okay so this is the time of the year when I’m blind with optimism. All of my 2011 sins got washed away when the ball dropped, and now what sits in front of me is a blank canvas for me to Jackson Pollock-style splash with success in my career, great memories, health and happiness for my friends and family, and so on and so forth … you get the idea.

But I need to be a bit blunt right now, so bare with me: I found myself reading some fashion predictions for 2012 and it made me want to bang my head against the wall until I passed out and woke up back in 2011. Yes, I mean for the love of God, what has 2012 done so far that made the fashion Gods subject us all to this vast amount of heinousness? I won’t blame the website who pulled together said slide show though, as they are just going by the unfortunate cold hard facts … and quite frankly I’m obsessed with them just a tad (shout out to Refinery29.com). But seriously … I don’t know if I can handle this.

I won’t go over all of them, but here are the top few things that frightened me the most. I call this my, “Hell No Fashion in 2012,” list.

1. Drop-Wait Dresses: Models and stick figures alike, go nuts. For the rest of us normal folk with curves and a ba-donk … we are screwed. I’m all for vintage throwbacks, but I am much more into showing off the gifts God gave me … no matter how imperfect they may be. I find that this dress style accentuates the “jiggly bits” in the most non-flattering way possible. Would I put this on a four-year old? Yes. Would I wear one? Nope.

2. Coiffed Hair: God dammit, I just mastered the whole wild, unmanaged yet fabulous, I just rolled of bed but I’m wearing couture and I am about to walk down a runway, flowing hair thing. Now all of a sudden you expect me to sit in front of my vanity taming ever piece of hair on my head? Like, do I have to buy hair spray and gel again? For real, I need to dust off my hair brush? Grrr … :::Sigh:::

3. Baseball Caps: What? I mean, are you kidding me? I’ve never been known as the sporty spice kind of gal. I feel the purpose of baseball caps are for celebs who need to hide from paparazzi, sports fans and for the occasional bad hair day. I look heinous in hats personally because my head is massive (unfortunate but true). But dear lord, to make baseball caps a trend with like designs on them? How much more Blossom could you possible get. Listen, I would much rather rock a Phillies baseball cap than one covered in flowery fabric … yeah, I said it.

4. Platform Sneakers: Tell me something, will we all be running around giving peace signs and saying “GIRL POWER!” in british accents again? Should I start sputtering off nonsensical phrases like “zig-a-zig-ah” again, too? My poor mother, okay so when I was in middle school, the amount of money I drained out of her so I could have the 2 inch platform sneakers from Steve Madden is probably disgusting. I’m hanging my head in shame. They are awful. 2000 called, they want their platform sneaks back.

5. Loose Fit Jeans: I gave into the whole “boyfriend jean” craze a couple of years ago, in fact I still rock them when I want to have ultimate comfort, yet not look like a slob. But these jeans, tight in some places, loose in others … I just don’t get it. I barely have an ass as it is, why do I need a pair of ill-fitting jeans to accentuate that fact even more? Like tight in the thigh, baggy in the crotch (I mean, what and why?) and baggy around the ankle. How do I work with something like this? Please, someone tell me how!

Sorry to blow your mind with ugliness. If this is what our future holds for us this year, then I am thoroughly scared.

Reference of said ugliness: http://www.refinery29.com/2012-fashion-trend-predictions