The First Ever LSIASB 2015 Exhibit Of Gifts

While I usually do “Life Sucks In A Strapless Bra’s Favorite Things,” Oprah-style because … well … all hail Oprah, I decided to switch it up this year and offer more of a “gift guide.” 

There’s a little somethin-somethin’ for everyone. Even a few laughs for those of us who “ball on a budget” (I’ll give you a hint, it’s from Fendi). 

So I’ll shut up now while you indulge in the greatness of the very first EVER Life Sucks In A Strapless Bra 2015 Exhibit of Gifts. 

Jewelry Pouch: I don’t know about you, but when I travel my jewelry gets thrown into some random bag and ends up a tangled hot mess. So as a proclaimed jewelry whore, this is pure gold.

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Journal: Fun fact about me, I heart stationary. Even more fun fact, I love swearing. Combine the two and you have the most fucking brilliant journal ever. 

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Sticks + Stones necklace: I would sell my mother for this necklace. And I’ve said numerous times that if someone bought this for me (:::cough::: number 1 thing on my wish list :::cough:::), I would like to be buried in it (morbid, I know). AND Sticks + Stones is from Philly. Get on my neck, like NOW. 

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Faux Motif Scarf: You know … for those times when PETA mistakes you for someone famous and attempts to throw paint on you.

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Fendi Bag Charm: Alright everyone, let’s take a big ol’ cleansing laugh and publicly shame the idiots who would spend over $600 on a Fendi KEYCHAIN. A KEYCHAIN. I don’t care if Jesus blessed it … NO. But oh look, I found one for $10 WITH goggly eyes that looks exactly like the $640 Fendi one. Boom.

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Wand Salt & Pepper Shakers: Because could there possibly be a more fun way to season your food?! I think not. Salt for everyone!

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Zara heels: Yes I’m drooling … shut up … these heels are just that good. 

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Good reads: I realize biographies aren’t everyone’s jam, but they are mine (especially ones by inspiring women), and here are a few fantastic ones that I read in like a day (yes that addictively good).

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Erase Paste: I’ll say it again … this product is God’s gift to women. Now no one could ever tell you went on a bender last night! 

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Anthropologie Glassware: If you’re going to drink wine, it should be out of something fancy. (I hope to one day see that quote on a teabag or something)

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Christian Louboutin Lipstick: $90 is a little steep for lipstick, I know. But did you notice how insanely gorgeous the packaging is? And, if you can’t afford red Louboutin soles, red Loub lips are a great compromise.

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Bracelet Flask: Because sometimes people get thirsty AND want to look stylish … okay. I can feel you judging … 

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Life Sucks In A Strapless Bra’s Favorite Things … 2014

CaptureThis time of year warms my black heart. The lights, the shiny things, the opportunity to brighten someone’s day by buying them something their heart desires. I mean, it truly is delicious.

Except when you can’t figure out what the hell to buy. When you hit that brick wall, all of a sudden your body fills with rage, anxiety, and panic … forcing you to enter Bath & Body Works in a desperate attempt to buy whatever kinds of Cucumber Melon scented shit you can find (and nobody REALLY likes anything from Bath & Body Works, right?) I know, I know, I’m such a BBW hater, I realize this.

So if you’ve hit said brick wall, I want you to brace yourself because something magical is about to happen. Oh yeah … wait … let me get my best Oprah voice on … ahem … it’s LIFE SUCKS IN A STRAPLESS BRA’S FAVORITE THINGS … 2014 STYLEY! Ahhhhh! Ensue pandemonium.

As much as I would love to virtually shove free shit at you in an Oprah-esque fashion, leading to your heads to pop off, I unfortunately cannot. BUT … I hope the list of some of my favorite things will inspire your gift buying experience. And like I said yesterday, it is a-okay to buy yourself something shiny, too.

So let’s do this thing, shall we?

1. Benefit Erase Paste: This shit will take you from tired, hungover, puffy-eyed mess to bright and alive human being. I consider this my magical elixir of life.


2. Aritzia Parka: I don’t believe in having to sacrifice style for warmth. And that is why this parka is a dream. Fur hood, doesn’t make you look like a shapeless brick of down. And waterproof. You could totally rock this skiing or a night out with the ladies. Just don’t get drunk and forget it. This guy is kind of pricy.


3. Muffler (No, not the car part): Old world style fascinates me. The idea of getting dolled up to go to the movies and/or the mall instead of wearing sweats that have PINK tattooed across the asses of women all over the world makes me really happy. And nothing is more stylish than a muffler. Nothing. Gloves be gone, time to get down with this guy.

img40j4. Glossier: I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, Emily Weiss is my spirit animal. And her products from the packaging to the rad stickers to the amazing effects they have on your skin is genius. Pure genius. Slow clap for this bitch.

8093-08F-GLS-SRG-ALLPRODUCTBAG_R_RR5. Chicago-Style Popcorn: Umm yeah, food can be fashionable, right? Especially when you combine something as random as caramel popcorn with cheddar popcorn to create this scrumtrilescent mixture of pure mouth pleasures. Oh yeah. Mouth pleasures, popcorn-styley. It may seem gross, but the cheese and sugary mixture is kind of perfect.

52762-chicago-style-popcorn-mix-di6. Cats: Wait, what? I know, I know, I’m a crazy cat lady. Blah, blah, blah, etc. But really this is just about loving animals, specifically cats, though. There are so many that need to be adopted (no, I’m not going to get all crazy eHarmony girl and start crying on you), but for the right person, a cat can be an amazing partner in crime … and an awesome thing to Instagram. I mean, welcome to my life. I’m a huge supporter of the AWA, where I adopted my cat, Ellsworth. Check them out and do the right thing. Or at least donate money, food, your time … something. (By the way, yes that is my lovely cat … but you can’t have her)

Capture557. NARS lipstick: I know this is so clique, but if you are feeling down and put on an amazing colored lipstick, you all of a sudden get this bad ass urge to take shit down. Seriously, I’ll throw on a lip color on a Sunday while I’m doing laundry just for funsies. Shanghai Express is my jam, but it is notoriously always sold out. A sales person at Nordstrom once told me to buy in bulk, no joke.

06078450100678. H&M Jewels: I’ve become a statement necklace whore, and the most compliments I receive are from my statement necklaces from H&M. And it shocks people when I tell them they are from H&M. Gotta say their jewelry game is on point this season, and price points aren’t ridiculous. You just gotta care for them. They are delicate little guys. Unfortunately their e-commerce store doesn’t have the same caliber of jewels as in-store, so bring it on down to your local H&M.

Capture99. The Perfect Blanket: Screw babies, every adult needs a blanket. There is nothing better in life than coming home after a day of life bitch slapping you and hiding underneath the comfort of your favorite blanket as you binge watch Netflix and chug wine.

img4c10. Blanket Scarves: And when it isn’t socially acceptable to walk around all day with your blanket on, enter blanket scarves stage right. I first knew I was obsessed with them when I saw a friend of mine wearing one and wanted to rip the thing off of her and run away. I love a scarf with options, you know? Blanket, scarf, invisibility cloak. You name it.



LSIASB’s Fav Things – 2013 Styley

screen-shot-2011-11-30-at-9-07-10-pmSometimes I like to pretend I’m Oprah … I mean who doesn’t. And as much as I would love to sit here and say, “you get a lip gloss, you get a cat, and you get a Celine handbag!” making you all go bat shit crazytown … alas I cannot … for I would be living in a van down by the river.

And because we are all in the midst of frantically trying to find those perfect gifts for the impossible people to buy for … I hope I spark some sort of inspiration for you. The list below outlines just a few of the things I have found myself becoming a massive fan of over the past few months. Enjoy … and uh yeah … if anyone feels compelled to buy me that Celine handbag for Christmas, I most certainly would be appreciative. Kay thanks.


Butter London Lippy Gloss: Who knew they made more than nail polishes, right? This lip gloss rocks because it is thick, but not like MAC lip gloss thick. Stays on no matter WHAT you are drinking or how much, and makes you lips feel like little clouds from heaven. Invest immediately … it truly is like buttah.


Celine Handbag: I mean … I would sell my mother on the black market for this bag (sorry Ma). This is my dream handbag … I would probably make out with it if I owned it, too … yes, THAT is how much I adore this bag. It’s a sexy beast … whoa is it getting hot in here? Alright, I’ll stop.


Baby Cat: I already adopted her a few months back, but she brings me more joy than you know. If you are in a life funk or just need a ray of sunshine, adopt a baby cat. The people over at the Animal Welfare Association rock, so go to you local one and help out an animal in need. And, more importantly, I would like to take this opportunity to introduce you all to my baby cat, Ellsworth … EEEE!


Benefit’s Erase Paste: I keep waiting for the day when I get sick of using this product, and in like three years it still hasn’t happened yet. Hung over? Slap some of this magic under your eyes and you’ll immediately look alert and awake. Tired? Erase Paste will take care of that. Feeling like an old hag? Drop 10 years instantly. I’m obsessed.


Disco Ball: Literally everyone needs one. Enough said. It will change your life.


Joy Tea from Starbucks: Since the fancy folks over at Starbucks don’t understand the concept of good ol’ lemon tea, I’ve recently become addicted to their holiday Joy tea. It’s pure holiday magic, and gives you the perfect amount of caffeine to get through the day. I’ll probably cry when it gets discontinued.


Lucite Heels: I wrote a blog post about this a while back about how maybe, just maybe, strippers have had it right all along with lucite heels. I find them fascinating and futuristic, as long as it is just the actual heel that is lucite only. Not trying to rock actual stripper shoes here … not that there is anything wrong with that. But these Shoe Cult Minx Pumps, specifically, made me drool.


Fur Coats: Faux fur, of course. Simmer down, PETA. It’s vintage, it’s romantic, it is perfection all around. Throw on a pair of elbow-length gloves and consider yourself 1950’s perfection. Swoon.


Kiehl’s De-puffing Eye Stick: When people say hangovers get worse the older you get, they really weren’t kidding. For me, my eyes tend to take the brunt of it, getting all puffy and swollen … gross. But this stuff is God’s gift … cooling, smooth, keepin’ me young and shit. Gotta love it.


Cupcake Wine: Specifically Chardonnay. It’s cheap, yet at the same time I always feel fancy whilst drinking it.


Old Navy Rock Star Jeans: I have turned my nose up at Old Navy since I retired my performance fleece when I was 13. I’ll admit it,  I was a snob. But when I slipped into their Rock Star Jeans … I was hooked. They are so cute, fit amazingly and are uber cheap. A word to the wise: Just don’t put them in the dryer … unless you like rockin’ floods in 3 degree weather.



These Are A Few Of My Fav Things!

First things first, who is impressed by my mind-blowing “paint” skills to make the picture attached? Anyone? Anyone? No one?

Okay so Oprah did it, every editor and their mom do it now, so therefore I shall share with you all my favorite things. No I will not be handing out school buses and Dodge Neon’s … and I really don’t want my readers to get so excited and hyped up that their eyes roll to the backs of their heads like Oprah’s audience did. Ick.

I’ve been personally bothered by some recent “holiday wish lists” from editors. I was so excited to read them in anticipation that I might discover something super cool. Sure, I think the YSL Calf Hair Bag is something super cool that could interest me … but for $1,995 … even Santa would laugh in my face.

So what I’ve created is like a love child of “my favorite things” and my “Santa wish list.” Most of it is realistic, obtainable, kissable and down right fantastic. Of course, you always put that one outlandish thing on your Santa wish list in hopes he can fit it in his sleigh, so therefore I may have one or two crazytown items … I just couldn’t resist. This post isn’t the end all be all of my fav things … there will be more to come. But for now, if you are as frustrated and annoyed as I am with editors listing things you would have to sell an organ to obtain … then welcome to my world.

1. Paul Mitchell Super Skinny Serum I take a 450 degree flat-iron to my hair every day. People wonder how my hair isn’t fried and or how I even still have hair, but I do because I condition it before I burn the crap out of it with this magical serum. It adds shine, smells fabulous and can be found at any drug store for around $20, but it will last forever.

2. Snap You’re Fab Smashbox Lip Gloss Set- Okay just the name alone is worth purchasing. Santa got this for me last year and some of the lip glosses are still in my purse as I type. They aren’t too sticky and you will be snapping away because the colors are lusciously fabulous. They are just a fun little gift to buy yourself with a to die for price tag.

3. Circle Scarves– I have two and probably could use 50 more. I live in them, I sleep in them, I use them as my own form of a less creepy Snuggie, I drool on them … they are heaven. At first you might be freaked out by how much fabric they have, but all the more to get creative with them. I don’t care if they are hispter-esque, I kiss mine daily.

4. Come to Bed Red Nail Polish- Red nail polish had turned into my “thing” because to me, right now, there is nothing better than a red nail. I’ve been cheating on OPI with Butter, so this is my fav color right now. Two coats and you a ravishing red vixen.

5. Chapstick Medicated- Okay no, I do not have diseased lips or sores or anything gross going on. But this flavor really instantaneously heals chapped lips, especially since it is getting so cold. Who doesn’t want smooth, kissable lips. So just peel off the stupid label so no one things you have herpes or something and rock on.

6. Goldfish- I bet you are thinking, what the hell am I on right now, but if I was to hand out to all my readers a little goodie bag full of my favorite things, these would most certainly be in there. They are tasty, cute and I don’t feel fat whilst eating them or after eating them.

7. Marc Jacobs Quilting Sullivan Shoulder Bag- Dear Santa, if you are reading this … I’ve been an awful good girl this year :::batting eye lashes:::: Pa-pa-pa-please leave this bag for me underneath my Christmas tree. Love, Kate.

8. Sam Edelman ‘Roza’ Pump- Every time I go to Nordstrom in the shoe department, I see these shoes and like try to make out with them. Sure, you could use them as a weapon, but at least you don’t have to carry around mace or a rape whistle! I mean every girl needs a fabulous pair of heels, and this season, these happen to be it for me.

9. Disco Ball– All I ever wanted in life was a disco ball, and finally someone realized I wasn’t kidding and got one for me for my 21st birthday. I then proceeded to bring it out with me that night. It now hangs from the middle of my ceiling in my room and whenever I look at it I smile … how could you not?

10. Yoga Classes- I hated working out, I hated going on a treadmill because every time I do some random stranger tries to strike up a convo with me, even with ear buds in place. I don’t like running, unless there is a tarantula coming my way … so when I found sanctuary in a yoga studio, it was heaven. Soothing, intense, relaxing, fulfilling, inspiring, it really is so worth the money, because I know how crazytown expensive these classes can be. LivingSocial has some GREAT deals, so take advantage and center yourself. Namaste in advance friends, namaste.

So there they are, my 10 fav things for today. Some are obtainable, some just make my happy on a daily basis, some are crazed … but that is the fun in making lists like these.