I’m not about to sit here and write about the perfect DIY Valentine’s Day mani, or how to make your boo swoon with an influx of pink and red shit on February 14. I’m also not going to say things like, “hey single ladies, wanna know how to stick it to Valentine’s Day this year? Vodka. YEAH SCREW GUYS, high fives all around!” Nope … not going to do ANY of that.

I’m not hating on all this nonsense because I have a black soul … oh come on I swear I don’t. And this most certainly is not bitterness talking. I’m hating on it because this holiday makes more people feel bad about themselves and stressed out then happy and full of love. Which is bullshit, in my opinion. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have in your life, like a lady or gent to shower you with roses (ps. one day of year to get flooded with flowers? Silliness, my friends, silliness. Try all day, ERR day.), focus on showering others with kindness and respect, which brings me to my original point.

The big topic right now is bullying with kids, but unfortunately I feel like adult women are guilty of it, too. Never would I imagine having to deal with mean girls in my adult life. Never. But alas, it has happened. The minute we feel intimidated or unliked, we immediately jump to behind-the-back smack talk and insults and “OMG did you see what that bitch was wearing,” nonsense. Instead of welcoming people to the group, we turn a blind eye and instead of opening ourselves up, refuse to accept due to the fear of an awkward encounter.

We even attack people we don’t know. A great example is one of my favorite radio personalities, Carla Marie, who decided to get a breast enhancement and was very public about it on the Elvis Duran and the Morning Show. Now, this girl was very much lacking in the ta department, so she decided to get a tasteful enhancement. The amount of backlash and horrific comments she received via social media, and probably from callers too, was straight up foul. This was her decision to make herself feel better. She didn’t get triple D monstrosities, but even if she wanted to that, it’s her decision. And quite frankly, her realness and openness through the whole ordeal was inspiring. I say, if you don’t have the balls to say to someone’s face what you post on social media, don’t post it. Next time you hate on another lady, think about what would happen if you were forced to say that comment to her face. Chew on that for a bit.

As 20- and 30-somethings, we shouldn’t have to be worrying if other women are gossiping about us at the water cooler. I personally thought I left that shit on the playground, but I guess some didn’t. Real talk. So this Valentine’s Day, instead of crying over the fact your significant other got you pansies instead of roses :::stomps feet:::, I encourage you to reach out to a woman, any woman, and compliment her. Compliment her, talk to her, make her feel accepted. Hell, do something crazy and GASP! get to know her! It may be awkward, it may be uncomfortable, but it may open a door to a really cool friendship. People aren’t always what they seem from the outside. I’ve been told that I come off bitchy and intimidating … which literally makes me laugh until I cry, because really I’m sensitive, shy, and a total dork. Be my friend, pa-pa-please?

So this Valentine’s Day, let’s show some love to our fellow ladies, shall we? And in the great and powerful words of Tina Fey …