On The Fringe Of Glory

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Photo credit: https://www.etsy.com/listing/117142923/velvet-fringe-kimono-classic-peacock?utm_source=Pinterest&utm_medium=PageTools&utm_campaign=Share

Warm weather, for the love of GAWD, where are you?

You know what, I’m done. I’m done waiting. I’m done bitching. I’m done. I’m just going to indulge in warm weather fashion no matter WHAT the temp is. And I loathe being cold, like most, but hey, I’ll sacrifice. Hell. I’m planning on wearing a maxi skirt this week at some point, and it won’t even be 60 degrees. Suck on THAT, Mother Nature.

Look … my winter clothes are worn out. Aren’t yours? It’s just no longer fun. I literally yawn and put no effort in my outfits anymore because I’m SO bored with it all. I just want to do a pencil dive into spring/summer fashion. Hence why I want to discuss with you my strange, but slightly awesome, obsession with fringe.

Fringe? Me? I know right … weird. But I find it fascinating, so much that I desperately want to adopt it into my wardrobe. And I love the idea of doing the twist in it and/or twirl around and have a Stevie Nicks moment. Jesus … I almost bought a brown fringe Steve Madden bag at TJ Maxx last weekend. Number 1: I don’t wear brown. Number 2: Fringe is a little country … which is SO not me. But I just HAVE to have it. In any way, shape or form.

So won’t you fringe-out with me?

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It’s 60 Degrees Out: What Are YOU Wearing?

CaptureWhen you’ve been living in a polar vortex for weeks and weeks on end and all of a sudden a 60 degree “heat wave” hits, it might be the most uncomfortable thing in the world. And I’m not talking about uncomfortable like awkward, I’m talking about uncomfortable like you just ate way too many carbs and happen to be wearing Spanx.

On days like today, ladies feel the need to throw their stockings to the wind, burn their boots and rock a naked leg underneath a skirt or dress. “Short shorts for all!,” they said … but you will find me standing there, arms crossed, in full resting bitch face saying, “bitch, please.”

I know, I know … it’s tempting to expose your epidermis at the first inkling of warmth. And today I stood in front of my closet and had the classic battle of, do I risk freezing my ass off all day and show a little skin, or do I just stick to my winter regime and sweat a little. At first I reached for my short sleeve dress and flats, but shook my head no, and reached for a T-shirt and blazer, black skinnies with heels … but that was all wrong. Then after much debate went with the sheer top (with something underneath it, of course … pervs), jeans, boots and a light trench. And now said sheer top is making me itch beyond belief, and it’s a little drafty where I’m sitting. I mean, can I win?!

If I could stay the same temperature all day, I would be happy. But spring is a saucy minx that continuously switches it up. After my 10 minute walk to the train, I’m sweating. I cool off on my train ride, but by the time I get to my desk I’m over heated. Then depending if my office decided to be freezing or stuffy that day, I unfortunately have to suffer through something (I know, right? Waaaaaaa, poor me). I mean, planning outfits for days like to day means you’re sacrificing something … or that you need to dress in layers, which is annoying … sometimes. Then you’ll find me on the train, over heated like a woman going through menopause ripping layers of clothing off. Hawt, right?

So no, I am not ready to show some leg. Mostly because I have refused to look at my legs all winter and fear the paleness will blind innocent bystanders. Before I throw myself into the spring wind, I need a spray tan, I probably need to do a thoroughly shaving of my legs (come on, we ALL use the winter as the lazy girl’s excuse for lack of leg shaving), and I probably need to thoroughly moisturize (don’t my legs sound hot right now?). So once I complete those tasks, sure … epidermis for all … wait, what?

Until then, I’m preparing to be uncomfortable for a couple of painful weeks. Sigh … I’m already stressing about what I will wear tomorrow.

The Face Of Cabin Fever

abominable-snowman-520169There’s really nothing else to say but … screw winter and its stupid face.

I used to totally adore a good snow storm, but you know what, I’m over it. I’m over sitting on my couch, eating snacks and watching Will & Grace marathons. I’m over trying to make sweatpants look fancy. I’m over deciding if I should actually do my hair or if I should attempt and fail miserably at a “sock bun” look, only to end up throwing it up in a hot mess bun. I’m done.

The thought of spring used to send chills down my spine. I loathed it. That awful feeling you get when you rock a dress sans tights for the first time and I have to come face-to-face with your dry, pasty skin. Woof. Not to mention you have to have reality bitch slap you as you peel off the wool sweaters and layers only to see that you gained a solid 10 extra pounds. Cool. But you know what, I’ll take it over this nonsense we are dealing with now.

Now if you are anything like me, self diagnosed with cabin fever, you are sitting on your couch, losing your mind, pondering when it is an appropriate time to have your first cocktail, and feverishly wondering why your cat won’t talk back to you, for the love. Oh wait … that’s just me. Oops …

So in honor of my sweet sweet frozen denial, let’s look at all the awesome spring fashion we have to look forward to as I pretend I’m chillin’ with spider monkey’s in St. Barts (if you know what movie I just referenced there … we are officially best friends).

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 Valentino

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 Celine

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 Derek Lam

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