Buy Something Shiny, Dammit

August 7, 2015.Reading time 4 minutes.

You guys … it’s Friday. We made it. We did it. We KILLED this week. Shall we do a joint jump in mid-air freeze frame sesh?

I’m a huge supporter of treating yourself. Not just buying yourself a nice dinner or pouring yourself that extra glass of wine. I’m talking about something shiny. Something fun. Something you normally would just drool over and never pull the trigger on buying.

That pair of shoes you would sell your significant other for on the black market? Even if you have no where to wear them, buy them, put them on a self and oogle them. I did it … and let me tell you, so satisfying. Sometimes, between you and I, I will vacuum in them or something. I know … I’m a freak.

So because I adore all of you, my fine sassy readers, I did the heavy lifting for you. Below are some fun items to spoil yourself with. It’s Friday. This week blew. And for fucks sake, you deserve something shiny. And if anyone asks why, tell them because Life Sucks In A Strapless Bra says so, and to stop being such a pain in the ass.

Behold!

Sassy Pair of Shades: Look we all have different face shapes, sizes, colors, complexions. I get it. But these make my heart skip a beat.

Ripped jeans: Black jeans are a necessary staple in every woman’s closet. Ripped black jeans are a necessary staple in every bad ass woman’s closet. They go with ev-er-y-thing. You could wear them everyday of the week, and no one would notice. And if they do, well … they have enough edge for you to tell them to fuck off.

A Great Red Lipstick: If I have to explain why red lipstick is important for all women … well, can you come closer to me so I can smack you? Kay, thanks.

Sassy coin purse: I can’t explain to you how much I adore this. If I could squeeze it until it popped, I would. It makes me want to scream, “EEEEEEE” at such a high pitch, all dogs would flee.

Great pair of booties: BUS STOP Boutique is one of my absolute favorites in Philly. I literally have to have someone restrain my credit cards whilst shopping there. But I’ve been swooning over these booties for a long time. They are great with summer dresses, skinny jeans, tights in the fall. I mean … adopt them immediately.

Skull shall save your pennies: If you’re anything like me, you unfortunately die for all the finer things in life, yet cannot really rationalize being the woman living out of her designer bags on the streets when you cannot afford to pay your rent. So, this gorgeous skull money bank is not only a swoon-worthy piece of decor for your home, but the perfect place to store that pesky change at the bottom of your bag to save up and make your Stella McCartney dreams come true one day.

A great bag: I have big amazing plans to purchase this bag and make sweet sweet love to it in the fall. That is all.

Buy Yourself Something Wednesdays

February 25, 2015.Reading time 3 minutes.

39e5abbbc4ca0b16928271547ef0f8a3 — Photo credit: http://www.whowhatwear.com/the-best-resale-websites-you-should-know-about

I’ve been on this kick recently where I’m all about buying myself gifts. If I fancy something, if I see an accessory or a piece of clothing winking at me from across the store, I immediately buy it a drink and take it home.

Some might say these are tell-tale signs of a “shopaholic” and that I will end up on the next episode of hoarders for sure, as my myriad of cats nest on top of a tower of shoe boxes. But alas, I am still rather cheap, and you will, probably, never see me buying out Bergdorfs. But a little reasonably priced “happy happy,” as my family likes to call it, does the body good. And it doesn’t have to be clothing-related. It can be a book, a class, an activity. Anything that makes that dark soul of yours shine.

Sure, it isn’t pay day (I mean, if it is for you, tip of that cap), and sure it isn’t Friday, or the weekend, or a holiday, or your birthday (again, if it is, happy birthday and such). But for most of us it is just fucking Wednesday. Yawn, yawn and … oh yeah … yawn.

So I say, go buy yourself something pretty. Again, don’t max out your credit cards to buy that Chanel handbag you’ve been drooling over since age 5 (seriously don’t). Not what I’m saying what-so-ever. It’s called a “happy happy” … not a “holy shit I just maxed out my credit cards to make myself smile.” If that happened, seek medical treatment immediately.

In all seriousness, go for a stroll in this freezing cold hell we’ve been suffering through, and treat yo self, as clique and overused as that statement is.

And, for inspiration purposes only, here are some suggestions on some things to make you smile:

Sondra Roberts clutch

ASOS plain cape

*Good for strolls on Saturday or snuggling with your cat with a glass of wine

Sequinned Short Jacket

Drawstring Shoulder Bag

Smak Parlour Bling

*Yes, that’s a ring

A Good Book

*I just found out some of the most classic novels are available on Amazon for less than $2. Shipping costs more. Indulge in those books you loathed reading in high school.

Aoki Boutique – Mermaid Sequin Skirt

Dr. Jart Charcoal Mask

Buy Yourself Something – It’s Friday

January 16, 2015.Reading time 1 minute.

I am notorious for lusting over things and never pulling the trigger to buy them. The words “cheap” and “queen of buyers remorse” have been thrown around whilst describing me.

Because I have such an issue taking the plunge and just buying the things I love and tweet and drool over, I decided that every now and then I will share them with you, my dear readers, in hopes that YOU will have the balls to pull the trigger, buy them, and enjoy thoroughly … like I should.

So behold, the shit you need to buy. Why? Because it is Friday and you deserve a treat after thing long ass week. Like longer than long. What is UP with that? Am I right?