What Does Your Watch Do?

… because my watches most definitely never tell the correct time. It isn’t because I’m lazy or have no interest in visiting a jeweler to replace my batteries, it is straight up because I consider watches to be equivalent to bracelets. I buy them based on how they look on my wrist, not how efficiently they will let me know what time of the day it is, because quite frankly I have 15 other devices that can do that for me. My car, the radio, my iTouch, my cell phone, my laptop, random people on the street (hello conversation starter), if all else fails, knowing the sun rises in the east and sets in the west … I mean I could go on and on and on.

Guys, on the other hand, wear watches for the polar opposite reason I do. They actually want to be able to look towards their left wrist and say, “why yes, it is 6:03 p.m. on the dot, ma’am.” It is the number one essential “man accessory” for crying out loud. And the best part is, if their batteries die, or they stop working, most guys I have found will not wear the watch for fear of being asked what time it is and not knowing the proper answer, even though they probably have 15 cheat sheets around them. It is an embarrassment, as a matter of fact, to some of them, and here I am waving my broken watch freak flag loudly and proudly. I’m not saying taking interest in the livelihood of your watch is a bad thing, in fact I find the continuation of this tradition of men taking pride in their watches quite charming. If only watch fobs and pocket watches could come back en vogue for men … now THAT would be the epitome of charm. I say start a revolution guys, until Tom Ford and Ralph Lauren hear you.

So ladies, what I am saying is there should be NO shame associated with you wearing a watch that doesn’t work, as long as it has a quality to make up for it like being a statement piece that can be considered “jewelry” or having a really chic vintage feel to it. Henceforth, say you have a Casio watch that you got at Wal-Mart that doesn’t work anymore … I would say let’s just donate that bad boy to Goodwill. I’m no snob, but it does need to have some sort of sparkle so people don’t think you are cra-cra.

Sidebar: The picture above is one of my absolute most favorite pieces of jewelry that I own, which belonged to my mom (technically I did not steal this from her, she is just another one that likes to have a functioning watch, to each their own I suppose). I think it is from the 70’s, but I wear it several times during the week and it is NEVER on the correct time, therefore I wear it as a statement piece. I think when it does end up being on the correct time for once will be the day that “The Rapture” actually comes and swallows us whole.