I Non-basically Adore Fall

tumblr_lxdm5eTF7E1qlxupro1_500I find it thoroughly entertaining that now being “basic” and boasting about “basic things” is en vogue. Good for you, Ugg boot wearer who showers in pumpkin spice everything. If you like that shit and can’t wait to post a pic of you, “pumpkin picking with your bae,” good for you for owning it, finally, and not letting the haters kill your vibe. You know what I mean? 

And while I would rather be tickled to death until I peed my pants than go pumpkin picking, and, honestly, loathe all things pumpkin-related (unless it is a sugar cookie in the shape of a pumpkin … then we’ll talk), I do love me some fall. 

But for the non-basic girl, we’re kind of exiled from the season. Just because I don’t want to drink pumpkin beer with you and have a pumpkin carving contest whilst watching football doesn’t mean there aren’t aspects of the season that I effing die for. 

So to make a fair representation of all who love the fall season, basic or non-basic, here are some reasons why I’m more than happy to tip my cap to the humid and swamp-ass-filled months of summer. 

Horror Flicks: Do you know what I call a good time? My couch, blankets, snacks, my cat, and a good horror flick. Most are ridiculously bad. The others will keep you awake at night (for example the Human Centipede … good GOD). But I can’t think of a better time in the fall than getting the pants scared off of yourself in the comfort of your own home. 

Leathah: (Oh yeah, I said leathah) I bought a pair of leather leggings at the Nordstrom Anniversary sale back in July, and have been counting down the days until I can wear them without melting. So far, still a no go. But the idea of incorporating leathah back into my life from skirts, to pants, to shoes is making me want to squeal.

Halloween candy: It’s glorious. Instead of committing to one full-sized candy bar, you can sample a few bite-sized ones all at one time. (And all together they DEFINITELY do NOT make up more than one full-sized candy bar … :::shifty eyes:::)

Skulls: Okay some people go pumpkin crazed during the fall, I go skull crazed. I literally just spent a stupid amount of time looking for the perfect skull decor at Home Goods. While some may put them up only during Halloween, I found one that can and will stick around all day err day. 

Fashion is ACTUALLY a thing again: The name of the game this summer was, “wear as little clothing as possible so you don’t sweat to death/at the same time don’t look like a complete whore.” I believe I won said game. But fall fashion is where the real style comes out to play. The layers, and fabrics, and textures. While throwing on a maxi and a statement necklace is great and all, there is nothing like putting together a thoughtful and complex fall look. 

Stud pumpkins: I meant it when I said I will NEVER carve pumpkins with you. BUT, if you wanted to paint some pumpkins black and insert silver tacts into them to make cool designs … THEN we can talk. (Yeah … I made those below … jealous?)

Screen Shot 2015-09-14 at 2.13.08 PM

Pho Real: I’ve been craving Pho Ha since March. It has been torturous. But, then again, it’s been far too hot to even consider anything of the sort. And now that the air is a bit crisper, mama needs it. SHE NEEDS HER PHO. It’s so comforting and everything I love in life when it comes to food (yes … noodles and chicken … I’m SUCH a foodie). So if you ever want to go on a Pho date … I’m game. 

Less sweat, more snuggles: I’m not a heartless beast, I fucking LOVE to snuggle (mostly with my cat). Especially when it’s cold (see basic B’s … we have more in common than you think). But if you try to snuggle me during a heatwave, you will get the back of my hand. So the idea of coming home to snuggle and NOT having to immediately jump in the shower simply due to the fact that I sweated so much my bra is soaked (how about THAT visual boys … ooooh yeaaaahhhh), kind of makes me want to do a happy dance. 

So there you have it, kids. We can all love fall for our own reasons. But if I see one more meme or one more post about how the world is made from pumpkin spice tear drops, I may cut someone.

The Scarlett B

tumblr_mfz7heJRkg1r8ca4ro1_500
Photo credit: http://rebloggy.com/post/bitches-kreayshawn-gucci-gucci-basic-bitches-basic/39433779630

For some reason, the moment the season changed to fall, I feel like an angry mob of people who hate Ugg boots and pumpkin spiced everything have emerged carrying pitch forks and torches.

Don’t get me wrong, I loathe Ugg boots and pumpkin spiced everything. It drives me nuts. #CrunchingLeavesInUggBoots makes me want to vom, but that is my personal opinion. If you get down with pumpkin latte’s all day err day, who am I to judge, right? Well this angry mob of basic haters says something different.

Basic Bitch, defined by Urban Dictionary, is, and I quote, “a bum-ass woman who thinks she is the shit but really ain’t.” … … … … yeeeeaaaah … I’m just going to let you take a moment to let that sink in. I wish I were kidding.

When you Google, “being basic,” articles like “how basic are you?” a Buzzfeed quiz, and “50 signs you are dating a basic bitch,” pops up. Well I took that Buzzfeed quiz, kids, and it told me I’m not basic, buuuuuuuut I have some minor basic tendencies. Sorry I watch Keeping Up With The Kardashians and claim my yoga teacher has “changed my life,” and drink vodka sodas because I love vodka, NOT because of the lack of calories … and P.S. I call them vodka clubs, a-thank you very much (P.S. saying P.S. was so basic of me, right?)

Listen, I will never drag a boyfriend to go pumpkin picking with me, and I believe I just donated my last and final North Face Denali jacket to the homeless, but what I cannot understand, for the life of me, is why being “basic” has turned into this awful plague stylish girls do not want to catch. Seriously … in the fashion world, being basic mine as well means you have two weeks to live. It’s the worst.

I won’t lie to any of you (seriously, when do I ever), but when I took that Buzzfeed quiz and it listed all of these “basic” things we should check off if we indulge in, I kept getting more and more enraged thinking, “who would do that!?!? Who truly actually has a brunch club.” It kind of made me want to bang my head against the wall. But then I stopped and thought to myself, “hey, self, I have friends and family who like this shit … maybe I should shut up.” And I did. Well I didn’t, I just kept the thoughts to myself.

We likes what we likes, and sometimes we are afraid of turning into things, like a bitch, our mothers (not me, though, mine rules, I totally want to be my mom … shout out to my ma!), boring, hated, and most recently … basic. But before you pass judgement and decide to not indulge in something for fear you will have to walk the earth wearing the scarlett “B,” think about if you really like it. And hey, if you really like leaves crunching underneath your Ugg boots as you pumpkin pick with your BF/GF who wears a plaid shirt from J. Crew … my friend, go on with your bad self. Who are we to judge.

GOD we need to stop calling each other “basic bitches” because it makes it okay for other people to call us “basic bitches,” and that just isn’t cool. Alright, everyone take some rubbers. (How basic of me to quote Mean Girls, right? See … I’m still breathing)