Fashion Week: Is It A Bad Joke At A Funeral?

PREFACE: It’s been a while since I hit submit on a post. I don’t have an excuse. I’m not going to be all, “uhh writer’s block, and I suck… and Trump’s a dick hole so it’s HIS fault :::shakes fist:::… THAT’S why I haven’t written.” I mean all of those things are true AND valid, but alas I’m not going to do that. Now that we’ve covered that…

As I sit here on my couch, binge watching coverage of Hurricane Irma and stuffing my face with caramel and milk chocolate covered pretzels (yeah… they are tiny slices of heaven), I can’t help but have this super eery feeling like it’s the end of times. DACA, hurricanes destroying the country, everyone suddenly feeling like it’s 100% okay to be a full blown racist again, and the fact that Hillary Clinton is STILL not our President. I mean fuck us… right?

And now it’s fashion week. Usually I’m all about it. I stalk Twitter, I watch the live shows on my phone, and I’m pretty sure I’m the last standing Tidal member, because I originally downloaded the app to watch the Yeezy fashion shows and never really deleted it, so you’re welcome Jay z and Kanye West, you’re welcome. Enjoy my $9.99 a month.

Obsessed would be an understatement when it came to fashion week. It gave me joy and a sense of peace in the vainest way possible. I would sit there watching these beautiful fashions, dreaming of the day I would get to watch the shows live, and everything felt better.

But fashion week this year feels… trivial. And let me be very clear that it makes me want to vomit that I actually typed out that sentence. It just feels really fucked up for me to go on Twitter right now and tweet, “I would sell my mother’s soul for that Marc Jacob’s jacket #NYFW,” like I normally would, when Florida is about to get Day After Tomorrow-ed. I can really only compare it to loudly saying something inappropriate at a funeral.

I’m seeing these fantastic fashion folk I follow on Instagram showing how busy they are and how they plan to survive fashion week, and while I normally would be thinking, “you lucky bitch, I want your life… where did I go wrong?,” I’m kind of just like… “uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh ssstttttttttoooppp.” Like I want to watch their fabulous stories of running from show to show with envy, but I’m watching between two fingers as I cringe.

I get it. It’s fashion week. It’s an institution and these very talented people worked tirelessly to put on these shows. They didn’t know Donald Trump would actually get elected, then would decide climate change wasn’t a thing, and then weirdly have 45 hurricanes destroy numerous cities in the US. I mean HOW could they know that?

We shouldn’t have to sit shiva just because the world is crumbling around us. But I needed the world to know I feel very uncomfortable oogling over the fashions this year. If you see me tweet anything about fashion week, in my brain I will be doing so, peering around an imaginary corner with binoculars, quietly whispering to myself, “Alexander Wang is a genius. Satan, here is my mother’s soul, now give me the entire collection.” Oh yeah… “#NYFW.” As I try to quietly crunch on my popcorn, trying not to make a sound. That’s how I will be tweeting, if I even decide to. Which again I probably won’t, because, like I said, I’m SUPER uncomfortable. Am I the only one?

Now that’s off my chest, I’m sincerely sending my love to everyone suffering in any way. Stay strong, kids.

Al Gore rules. PEACE. 

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Bad Juju, Be Gone

Photo credit: http://www.designworklife.com/2012/08/17/the-dark-arts/
Photo credit: http://www.designworklife.com/2012/08/17/the-dark-arts/

I am, truly, a very superstitious person. I knock on wood, throw salt over my right shoulder, I never count my chickens before the hatch … it all just freaks me out.

But the worst is when you buy something and come to find that it is a hex. Now I know you are probably thinking, this chick is crazytown, which I totally get, I think that about myself, sometimes, too. But I have to admit, there are a few pieces of clothing and accessories that I refuse to wear because something always goes wrong when I wear them. Hence they are a hex and should be burned … but are too pretty to be set ablaze. So I just keep them in my possession and stare at them longingly.

Most recently it has been a pair of shoes. I won’t blow up their spot, because truly they are so pretty and so fantastic … and I covet them. But in the two times I’ve worn them, everything has gone to shit.

For example, one of the biggest wardrobe malfunctions I have ever encountered, leaving me basically naked for the evening, happened when I rocked those shoes … or well, attempted to rock them. THEN an opportunity that sent me to the moon and back with happiness unraveled before my eyes whilst wearing them. When I got home from said opportunity unraveling, I threw them against the wall … hard. Like really, REALLY hard. It felt good.

To the non-superstitious person, there is no correlation. They would still rock these amazing shoes until the cows came home. For someone like myself, they are dead to me. I’m not saying these shoes caused all of these bad things to happen. In fact, maybe they have no involvement what-so-ever. The fact is, the idea of walking this Earth in said shoes with all that bad juju surrounding them, and with the potential for other things to go to shit … doesn’t seem like something I’m down for.

Unfortunately it isn’t just the shoes, I have really nice pieces of jewelry I refuse to wear … or outfits that traditionally bring bad things to my life that now hang in my closet neglected and probably a little dusty, all because EVERY time I wear them, negativity follows. I know, I know … #SuperstitiousPeopleProblems, waahhh, boo-frickity-hoo, but it sucks when you pour your hard-earned cash into your closet only to find a black cloud follows said piece.

Weird, right? I know … I should probably see someone about this. They are inanimate objects, for crying out loud. But regardless, no one wants to rock something that reminds them of truly unsavory memories, right? Or with the potential of a black cloud to follow. Better safe than sorry is what I always say.

:::Sigh::: I should call a priest.

Drool With Me Now: Fall Fashion 2014

image1xxlOkay, I know we have a few more days until Labor Day, and I promised after bitching about the Polar Vortex last winter that I would do nothing but embrace every drop of sunshine and twirl in myriads of maxi skirts … but, yeah … I just made my first fall purchase. I couldn’t help it because I’m THAT ecstatic over summer getting the eff out of town. And yes, I truly intend to make out with said bag when he arrives at my doorstep, that is how much I adore him.

I’ve just had enough of sticky subways, makeup dripping down my face, and having to apply deodorant like three times a day, it’s unbecoming. And I want to punt my summer wardrobe. Listen, I’m not the girl who makes “mood boards” or “inspiration boards,” I have Pinterest for that shit. But the drool coming out of my mouth over fall fashion is excessive, to say the least. So I just had to share with you what I’ve been daydreaming about, right? Clearly.

1. Leather: Leather shoes, leather motorcycle jackets, leather shorts, leather underwear, leather all day err day (calm down, PETA, it will be faux or “hemp” leather … whatever is the politically correct way to rock leather)

11P10FBLK_normal2. New Over-The-Knee Boots: Oh yeah, they are still completely relevant and nothing brings me more joy than walking down the street in hooker boots “Pretty Woman” styley.

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3. Capes: Ya gotta bring the drama every now and then, and quite frankly I’ve been lusting after them since Lupita dropped the Cape bomb at the Golden Globes last year.

Capture4. Fuuurrrrr: I already own a faux fur jacket … and that clearly was my gateway drug to more fur, because now all I want to do is add to my collection. And quite frankly the fur they showed during fashion week is on POINT (seriously PETA, settle, I couldn’t bare to skin my cat and wear her, so this, again, will be eco-friendly fur … chill)

30C01GBLK_normal5. Removing Color Completely: Not that I wear a lot of color to begin with, but I’m really going to make a conscious effort to only wear neutrals. Black, white, beige, maybe a camel. Then if I’m in dire need of color (yawn), I’ll throw in something like a merlot-colored tote bag or something.

2014-Black-White-Outfit-Combination-Ideas-136. Bucket Bag: I’ve been on the fence about these bad boys, as I couldn’t decide if this was a bad 80’s trend revamped or a classic staple. I’m still not quite sure, but anything stylish that I can carry my entire life in is something I want to take a spin in.

23015591_927. Chelsea Ankle Boots: Swoon. The boot game this season is fierce, and where to begin can seem overwhelming. Welp kids, you start here, with the classic Chelsea boot in black. God speed after that.

Capture8. Extreme turtlenecks: If the Farmers Almanack is right, this winter is going to be freaking cold. True … turtlenecks have been connected with prudes and squares in the past, but the dramatic thick turtle necks that I literally could hide in and hibernate is something I can get behind.

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9. Novelty Prints: I gave up ironic t-shirts years ago, even though I did own the typical “Everyone Loves an Irish Girl,” shirt. Yes, I’m sick of seeing the overly ironic “Celfie” shirts, but I kind of like what some designers are bringing to the table … especially under an over-sized mens blazer. Mmm scrumtilescent.

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10. Textures: I’m very basic when it comes to fabric … I’m mostly a cotton gal. That “Fabric of our Lives” commercial should totally check out my closet, although I refuse to sing. But this season I want to dip my feet in the season of velvet, silk, satin, lace, and everything in between … hell, throw felt up in this piece.

Thought Bubbles On The Oscars

ross-matthews-insta2-pca__bigDoes anyone else have a Ross Matthew’s hangover? I mean, my God. Never once have I ever turned off a red carpet, but alas last night it happened. I’m going to keep this short and sweet since literally everyone and their mama is discussing the Oscars today, so here are a few of my random thought bubbles on last night’s awards … ahem:

1. Men shouldn’t wear white tuxedos, especially men hosting a red carpet and interacting with movie stars who are more spray tanned and bronzed then they have ever been in their entire life. What’s next? Bringing back the cummerbund?

2. E! needs to revamp the red carpet coverage. Completely. No more Mani Cam. No more asking stars ridiculous questions like, “so like what are your plans after the show.” Umm go to a fancy party with fancy people and eat and drink fanciness, duh. We get it. And finally … Ross Matthews shouldn’t be allowed ANY caffeine or stimulants before going on air. You know what, just remove him from the equation completely.

3. I kind of love the fact that Lupita looked like she was chilling on the beach all day and just decided to put on this flowing masterpiece of a Prada dress, top it off with a headband (PS. they totally made a comeback last night), and rock the red carpet. She also invented her own color. Umm hi. Bow. Down.

4. Jared Leto needs to marry me. He just doesn’t know it yet.

5. Back to Seacrest for a moment, it really bums me out to know I wouldn’t be able to fit into his tuxedo jacket. Fat guy in a little coat.

6. Back to the red carpet, let’s not have reality star’s like Kristin Cavalleri commenting on the looks, kay? She isn’t a credibe source … like not even a little, for crying out loud. Just because she knows how to pronounce “Lanvin” doesn’t mean she knows how people should wear it.

7. Throw stuff at me for this, I don’t care, but I’m over J. Law. We get it, you fall, you aren’t cut out for the red carpet. You only wear Dior. You’re awkward. You say crazy things. Blah, blah, blahbity blah. ::::Snoozing:::::

8. Ellen wins for best tuxedo of the evening. She also wins at life for making Brad Pitt hand out paper plates.

9. The following trends made me drool, in no particular order: Long sleeved gowns, neutrals, and headbands.

10. And if I had the opportunity to knock out any of these movie stars and steal their dress, here is who I would choose:

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Crewneck Sweatshirts Are The New Black

ec09b6551a7472466bb8fbea754ad67bFor most of my life, a crewneck sweatshirt would send chills down my spine. It reminded me of geeky suburban dads at soccer games cheering on their kids at 7am (not that there is anything wrong with that). Or the 80’s. Either or. I was always a straight up hoodie type of gal.

And the idea of wearing a sweatshirt anywhere else but the comfort of your couch, hungover on a Sunday morning made me cringe. Who in their right mind would ever rock a sweatshirt to work or to a bar, right? Welp, kids … with a little styling, you can take slob fest to chic fest … wait … did I just say that? Woof.

Annnnyyyywho … who ever thought you could fancify a crewneck sweatshirt, right? It is more than possible. My advice would be to steer clear of any college sweatshirts. Like cool, you went to Harvard … yeah, no one cares. No, no I kid … but seriously they tend to be on the baggier side and turn to stone after one wash. Am I right?

Lots of “trendy” stores are selling crewneck sweatshirts with bold prints and patterns, and of course plain Jane ones for the less adventurous. The thinner the sweatshirt, the better in my book.

So I bet you are wondering how you turn a look that is meant for  hangovers, laziness, and illnesses into something you can rock out in public with pride? Well now … let me explain … ahem:

1. Statement necklace: The more bling the better. This thing needs to pop on the sweatshirt. I tend to drool over the DANNIJO collection of necklaces, but alas cannot fathom spending close to $500 on a beautiful necklace like that … right now. So if you are like me and can’t ball out just yet, luckily for us there are a ton of DANNIJO look-a-likes, like this guy from Topshop. Just as cute AND pocket-friendly. Swoon.

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Photo credit: http://www.nicethingsandstuff.com/2013_02_01_archive.html#.UwYwOoXLKw0

2. Lipstick That’s Poppin’: Jazzing up your lips is a must. I’m obsessed with the NARS collection, but make sure your lips are fully hydrated before applying as these colors can dry out your lips a bit. And no one likes cracked, red lips, now do we?

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3. Skirt it Up: Trade in your trousers for a fun flowy skirt to pair with you crewneck sweat look. It gives a more traditional look an edgier feel. I know, I know … sweatshirts with skirts, who are we? But come now, what is fashion without a little risk, am I right?

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Photo credit: http://www.thefashionspot.com/style-trends/172297-sweatshirt-style-dont-discount-the-crewneck/?slide=1

4. Take It Up A Notch: With heels, that is. Whether you are pairing your crewneck sweatshirt look with jeans or even a pair of black or patterned skinnies, pair it with some rockin’ heels. I won’t go on and on about which style to choose, since we all have our own preference. Confidence rocks the most when you feel comfortable in everything that you are wearing.

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Photo credit: http://shesbombb.tumblr.com/image/47923246264

5. Layer: “Wait, so you want me to wear a crewneck sweatshirt AND a collared shirt underneath? Who am I?” I bet that is what you are thinking, right? Well who you will be is bad ass, trust. Mixing patterns by layering gives a look a richer, more fashion-forward feel. I swear you won’t look like a square.
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Style Stud: Smak Parlour

sp-homepage-1-10-14For those of you not from the Philly area, well … first of all I feel sorry for you. But I also feel sorry that you don’t get the opportunity to enjoy one of my fave boutiques in the city, Smak Parlour. It’s not just because every time I walk in there I want to step up my style game and reinvent myself, it’s also because of the owner’s, Abby and Katie, who are two bad ass chicks that set their minds to something and turned out leaving a lasting impression in the world of fashion as well as on the city of Philadelphia

I had the ultimate pleasure of speaking with them and getting the lowdown on the parlour itself, their inspiration, and what we can expect from these fantastic ladies in the future.

What was the inspiration behind Smak Parlour? How did you come up with the name?
We met when we were 15, bonded over fashion and worked towards having a store together ever since then. Smak Parlour has been a lifetime in the making. We had a wholesale line of deconstructed and embellished t-shirts called “SMAK by abby and katie,” that we sold to boutiques across the country before opening our store. After finding our Old City storefront, we had tailors sewing SMAK in the back (in our sewing parlour). We were making SMAK in the parlour and just days before opening, “Smak Parlour” came to be.

Where are some chic places we can catch the Smak Parlour fashion truck in 2014? What is the best way to find it?
We recently just drove our truck into the Convention Center for the Tattoo Convention. We will be vending at The Porch (30th St. Station) on Fridays through the spring. We are vending at the Suburu Cherry Blossom event in April. In addition, we are booking plenty of fun private shopping parties! We will be posting our events on Facebook and Twitter. We will also have an event calendar on our website.

Tell me about any new designers/collections you will carry in the new year.
We are super excited about a jewelry line we just brought in from a local Philly designer named Angela. She handcrafts rings and necklaces featuring a range of images from iconic pop figures like Audrey Hepburn, Abe Lincoln and Darth Vader to animal-themed pieces with dog and kitten portraits.

If you could give advice to young girls starting out in the fashion industry, what would it be?
Fashion and retail is less glamorous then you think, it takes dedication, lots of time, hard work, and LOTS of creativity. We love it and feel if you have passion for what you do, you can overcome the hurdles!

How did you both get into fashion? What are your inspirations?
We both shared a love for fashion and have worked in retail since we met in high school. We grew up designing our own clothes from thrift store finds and safety pins. We went to Drexel University for Design and Merchandising. Our shared tastes have always been in the vein of a little bit girly meets rock ‘n roll.

Why did you decide to open your boutique/fashion truck in Philly?
We worked in New York’s garment district after graduation and realized we needed to be doing our own thing to be happy. Being from Philly, we wanted to open a shop in our hometown! The truck came 8 years later. It was a no brainer .. .going mobile is the future. We bring the best of Old City directly to our customers!

How would you define Philly style?
Philly style is very eclectic. There is a grittiness to it, which works perfectly with our brand. We have a definite edge to our style.

I’m in love with the design on Smak Parlour … how did you come up with its look?
We are inspired by Japanese Culture, Pin- up looks, Tattoo Culture, and Downtown New York in the 70’s and 80’s. We love using non-traditional ways to merchandise, such as glittering cinder blocks! The combination is truly unique and feels like a doll house.

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Style Stud: Fall 2014

Even though I find myself in a pile of pathetic tissues crying over the fact that I’m not at New York Fashion Week (whoa as me), I decided to take some time to share with you some of my favorite looks so far. Day Two and I’m already craving fall 2014, which is ridiculously because it’s like zero below out and I’m thoroughly sick of drudging through disgusting slush and SHOULD be craving spring … but in my opinion spring/summer collections just aren’t as intense, am I right?

So enjoy this little taste of Fall 2014 from a far.

Richard Chai

RichardChai

BCBG MAX AZRIA

BCBGMAX AZRIA

Dion Lee

Dion Lee

Rachel Comey

Rachel Comey

Tadashi Shoji

Tadashi Shoji

Lisa Perry

Lisa Perry