Hunter Boot Etiquette

4d15aec209c04e9b573c8698dc358d5eDoes anyone else feel like they are their Hunter Boots’ bitch? Seriously.

The minute I get news that the sky will be leaking, I feel like my Hunter Boots says, with a southern accent for some reason, “well little lady, looks like I WILL be picking the outfit today.” And you know what … I’ve had just about enough. Enough, I say!

As a commuter, I have to carry all of my goods on my person. Which has made my right arm super muscular, let me tell you. But it is also a huge inconvenience. I have my “walking to work” shoes, and then when I get into work, I’ll slip into my more uncomfortable numbers, which I have to make sure fit comfortably into my tote. But guess what? Hunter Boots don’t fit comfortably ANYWHERE.

For example last week I had to attend an event in the pouring rain. Did I want to wear my Hunter Boots, um hell yes … it was a monsoon. But the idea of me wearing said Hunter Boots, then awkwardly changing in the middle of the event in to my cute little pumps seemed not only inconvenient … but slightly mortifying. And THEN where do you put them? All of a sudden you’re trying to mingle and exchange business cards whilst holding your purse, Hunter Boots AND a cocktail, awkwardly knocking down mannequins. I mean, yeah … I’m not a hot disheveled mess at ALL.

I bet you’re saying to yourself, though, but Kate, why can’t you just rock your Hunter Boots, right? Well, yes … they are cute. And the chicer side of rain boots, for sure. But when you are attending a stylish event with stylish people, sometimes you want to wear cuter shoes. And not to mention, to wear Hunter Boots in a stylish fashion, you have to literally plan your outfit around them. Add feminine touches here and there to balance out the masculinity of the look. Otherwise they will absolutely dress you down no matter what. It’s exhausting. And annoying. Shoes are ALWAYS my last decision in outfitting, for the love of God.

So what I’m asking is what is the proper Hunter Boots etiquette? Yes, at work it is easy to slip them off and hide them under my desk until the voyage home. But what about when you’re going out with your lady friends in a torrential down pour? Do you have to be that guy that is just like changing her shoes at the restaurant table? Or is it worth wearing heels and or flats during a down pour and risk your feet getting soaking wet (which PS, might be the most frustrating feeling in the universe) in disgusting city slop and or biting it on the side walk?

I just don’t see a solution to this, unfortunately. I wish you could fold Hunter Boots up into a cute and compact package so you can throw them in your tote and go on with your day, but alas, this is not the case. They are a necessary evil, and I’m, for once, at a loss. And no, rain boots with a heel and or wedge are NOT the answer. When I see women wearing these I just want to shake my shame stick at them. Rain equals slickness which equals falling. So tell me why the balls you feel compelled to rock a rubber heel and or wedge? What are the kids saying nowadays, “SMH”?

What To Do When The Lights Go Out

Welp … Hurricane Sandy is about to show her heinous face any moment now, and here I am just waiting patiently … and nervously … for her. Listen, I’ve lived in New Jersey my whole life and never once (besides last year) did we EVER have hurricanes to deal with. And now this bitch decided to hang a Louie and storm the Northeast. Could it be rapture? The apocalypse? The Mayans being proven correct? A simple freak act of nature? Who the hell knows.

But since this hurricane business is so foreign to me and probably most of the people in the northeast, all I can think about is this concept of evacuation. We can take a blizzard like champs … but give us 80mph winds and we crumble. Seriously though, if I was told tonight that I had to pack a bag and get the eff out … what would I take? I love all of my clothes, shoes, accessories, makeup … and quite frankly not all of it would fit in one bag. So do you just take stuff that is conventional or do you take stuff that you want to keep safe?

So if I had to evacuate tonight (which horrifyingly enough may happen) and I only could take one bag, after much contemplation, here is what I would take, ahem:

1. Pair of skinny jeans, a pair of yoga pants, ┬ámy circle scarf, a jacket of some sort, and a few plain long-sleeved T’s (keep calm and comfortable)

2. Makeup (I don’t need to look like Sandy bitch slapped me)

3. My Macbook and my work computer (someone SOMEWHERE will have electricity and wireless, right?)

4. Toothbrush, toothpaste, makeup remover wipes, moisturizer, baby wipes, soap (Again … don’t need to look and smell like Sandy took advantage of me)

5. My spiked Sam Edelman suede heels (Just … because)

So yeah conventional yet crazy … story of my life. The rest of it I would slash am trying to hurricane-proof if shit starts going array, which involves making sure it is all probably hung in my closet and all of my accessories in one place that if I needed to, could just toss in a bag and hide somewhere high. I feel like the big key here is to stay organized. Again, I’m a hurricane neophyte so I’m just following my instincts.

In the meantime, I’ve done all of my laundry just incase I don’t have power for a week or so and in the next hour will be taking a nice long hot shower… in case, you know … showering isn’t an option in the next few days. Sigh. No Internet and no hair straighter make Kate go something something …. Crazy? DON’T MIND IF I DO! (You get bonus points if you know what movie that is from).

Alright, well anyone who has been or who will deal with the wrath of Sandy … please be as safe as safe can be. Take care of your loved ones and friends! Life Sucks In A Strapless Bra will be hunkering down for the next for days and will return if and when I have Internet :::chills:::

Now I’m going to go kick it old school in my Hunter boots, pop a bottle of wine … and wait for the wrath to begin.