We … Got … You BACK!

songI mean is everyone else still recovering after hearing the AMAZING news of N’SYNC reuniting AND performing at the VMA’s this weekend?! My 13-year-old self is squealing with joy, while my 26-year-old professional self is keeping the squeal inside and instead secretly trying to remember the sweet dance moves to “Bye, Bye, Bye.” It’s funny … I can’t remember what I did yesterday, but I CAN sing every single lyric of “Digital Get Down” … but I digress …

Right now I would like to time travel back to the year 2000. A time when I was freshly 13. A time when I rocked braces AND a palette expander (hawt). And I time when I was 110% positive that I was going to be Mrs. Kate Elizabeth Timberlake.

I attended two N’SYNC concerts, and both times were pure ecstasy. I literally have a photo album (what up, old lady), of really horrifying pictures of little dots that were N’SYNC from my disposable camera (yep, I’m SUPER old) with even more horrifying captions next to them. I wasn’t one of those girls that screamed until they were hoarse during the concert. Oh no … I sat there, next to my best friend, held her hand, and cried. CRIED. Except that one time when he totally pointed at me during “This I Promise You,” I cried AND screamed. I mean … I still get the chills thinking about it (psyche).

So before attending my first concert, I was convinced that somehow I would get to go backstage and meet Justin, so I needed to look like, PERFECT, because clearly we were going to fall in love instantaneously, right?! To explain my 13-year-old style in the year 2000, I was secretly obsessed with Carrie Bradshaw. Even though I was definitely not allowed to watch the show, I saw her in other places and died for her. So, in essence, she was my style idol. So I tried to make her edgy and fabulous style happen … at the Gap … since … welp, that is where my mom took me to shop … cool.

So enjoy my top 3 highlights of the style I rocked at my very first N’SYNC concert, ahem:

1. I talked my mom into letting me get my hair professionally straightened for the concert. My hair was really short and, due to sweet sweet puberty, an insanely kinky, curly disaster area. If I tried to straighten it, I would have a horrific afro. So I needed my hair dresser at the time, who was known for making my hair “Asian straight,” to make me glamorous. At the time it took them 2 1/2 hours to get my hair perfectly straight … and it was worth every agonizing moment.

2. Remember crystal tattoos? Oh yeah … I also made my mother go on a massive hunt for these bad boys because I HAD to wear one to the concert. That would totally bring Justin to the yard. Oh yeah … and I’m pretty sure it was in the shape of a butterfly … :::rolling eyes:::

3. I was rocking a sweet palette expander AND braces. For those of you who don’t know what that is, it is a rather large piece of metal that goes on the roof of your mouth and every night it had to be turned with a key to “expander your palette.” It was a painful nightmare and made me talk funny. So thank Jesus I didn’t actually meet Justin because it would have sounded something like, “OH EM GSSHHEE, JUUSSHHTIN, I JUSSHHTH LUGGE YOU!” I like to think he would have still married me, though.

Woof. So there you have it. Even though it makes me cringe a bit … it brings back fond memories of me standing in front of my TV waiting patiently for Carson Daly to play an N’SYNC video so I could learn all the dance moves. And yes, my plan is to get my girlfriends together on Sunday night so we can drink wine and keep our fingers crossed that everyone, besides Justin Timberlake isn’t a fat, overweight loser now … mainly Chris Kirkpatrick.

What is your favorite N’SYNC moment?

And Now For Something Non-Hurricane Sandy Related …

I feel like I am breathing easy after two days of Hurricane Sandy mayhem. I hope everyone is safe, sound and dry. To those dealing with destruction and flooding … you are in my thoughts!

But in an effort to stop watching Hurricane disaster coverage, saying things like “hunker down,” “Hurricane Sandy,” “superstorm,” “wind damage,” “down trees,” and other hurricane jargon, I thought I would lighten the mood by discussing something I’ve been turning a blind eye to for years … ahem. The fact that Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake were dating and now … married.

Apart of my hurricane survival kit was the People Magazine detailing their entire wedding. My modern-day, adult-self complimented parts of yet, while my 13-year-old self was screaming inside, “NOOOOO! WHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYY?!!?! HE LOOKED AT ME AT THE NO STRINGS ATTACH TOUR IN 2001! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ME!”

So behold, my present day commentary on the wedding, versus the commentary from my 13-year-old self on the wedding.

1. Justin Serenaded Jessica as she walked down the aisle. 

2012 Me: Hmm … does this mean he is going to start singing again? Can I get this song on iTunes?

13-Year-Old Me: WHAT?! He was supposed to sing “This I Promise You,” as I walked down the aisle! Did he sing “This I Promise You,” to that skank!? He better not have!

The couple hand wrote their vows for one another.

2012 Me: Hell yes I’m writing my vows, I’m a wri-ter. It would go a little something like this: Justin … I’ve loved you since we locked eyes at the 2001 No String Attached concert in Philadelphia. Yes, I know I was all the way in the back, but I saw you checking me out in my Old Navy capris, pink tank and orange bandana in my hair, and all the way to when you brought Sexy Back. Now I’m going to need you to bring sexy back again, sweetie. More music, less movie making. Mama wants to go on tour. Kay, thanks! Love you … kisses!

13-Year-Old-Me: ::::Tears pouring down my face:::: JUUUUUSTTTTIIIIIIIIN! I just, :::balling my eyes out:::: I just love you. :::Hands on cheeks::: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

The bride wore a custom pink Giambattista Valli couture gown. 

2012 Me: Ew. Really? You are marrying Justin Timberlake in a pink gown? What? For serious … dude was wearing a Tom Ford tux and you roll out in that monstrosity? Fun? Sure. Maybe for a dress I used to put on my Barbie’s when I was pretending to play prom. Don’t get me wrong, Giambattista Valli is a genius … but this was all wrong. It was like trying to be McQueen, but didn’t quite make it. We get it … you probably shouldn’t “wear white,” but you are marrying JT … in ITALY for Christ’s sake. Have some class, woman.

13-Year-Old Me: I would look so much hotter than you in my sparkly dress I got at Kohl’s yesterday with my Mom along with matching sparkly diamond tattoos and my platform heels from Steve Madden, okay?

Guests including close friends Jimmy Fallon, Andy Sandberg, Timbaland, and Biel’s 7th Heaven co-star Beverly Mitchell moved to an al fresco bar for cocktails and hors d’oeuvres. 

2012 Me: I wonder if Andy and Justin did “Dick in a Box”  … if this was my wedding I would have demanded it. Better yet, I would make him and Fallon do “Barry Gibb talk show” … TALKIN’ IT UP!

13-Year-Old-Me: That prude from 7th Heaven was invited but Lance, JC, Chris and Joey weren’t?! WHAT?! My mind is going to explode. JC was supposed to be best man and Lance, Chris and Joey were going to be groomsman. Seriously … this wedding is all backwards!

The newlyweds’ first dance was to Donny Hathaway’s “A Song for You”.

2012 Me: Not for nothing, but I have no idea what or who this is. Lame. Trying to be “different” are we?

13-Year-Old-Me: Umm … what? We would have danced to “I’ll Be Good for You” from No Strings Attached. Duh.

While Biel will keep her name professionally, she’s ready to be Mrs. Timberlake outside of Hollywood.

2012 Me: Really? I’ve been ready to be “Mrs. Timberlake” since 1998 while Jessica was busy playing Mary Camden. Boom.

13-Year-Old-Me: I’ve been practicing writing Kate Elizabeth Timberlake in ALL OF MY TRAPER KEEPERS! ALL OF THEM! Kate Elizabeth Concannon Timberlake. Kate Concannon Timberlake. KCT. KET. I almost have my cursive “T” down!

And there you have it folks. My 13-year-old self is a little heart-broken for numerous reasons. I suppose we’ll always have that moment in Philadelphia when he locked eyes with me all the way from the other side of the Wells Fargo Center. :::Sigh:::