Kardashian Konfession

rs_604x1024-140520095320-634.kim-kardashian-shopping-parisI don’t understand the craze with the royals, never have. Now, don’t throw stuff at me when I say this, but I find Will and Kate ridiculously boring. Oh she shops at J.Crew? Riveting. Oh, she wore the same thing she did last week? Welcome to my typical Wednesday. I mean, yawn. Down right, yawn.

But what I’m about to admit is painful for me … and slightly embarrassing, but I have to get this off my chest. :::Sigh::: Okay, here goes … I’m … quite obsessed with Kim and Kanye. No I won’t refer to them as “Kimye” … but yeah, I find them so ridiculously intriguing, if I could sit in front of my TV and watch E! News updates on them all day, I would. Now … go ahead, judge me. I deserve it.

I’ve been a Kanye West fan for years. People think he’s crazytown, I see him as an artist. Kim? Well … yes, I’ve pretty much watched every episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians (because sometimes I just want to put my brain on an invisible shelf and drool), but I’ve always found her to be a little … oh, I don’t know, full of herself? Is that the right way to explain her?

But this Kanye West rebrand of Kim Kardashian (because that’s what happened … they fell in love and he rebranded her) is epic and completely fascinating to me. She went from this Herve Leger, hoop earring, Phantom riding, lip liner, extension rocking, party host in Vegas to this silent beauty with such style and class in everything she does. Like she isn’t just known for her big ass anymore, she is actually known for her style. What?

And Kayne didn’t just rebrand Kim, he rebranded the entire family. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall during that conversation. “Yo, listen. No wearing colors. Only rockin’ french brands. No more eating. No more blowing off the gym. Everyone gets a waist slimmer instructor. Kendall … I’m going to call up my boy Marc so you can walk in his show.” He probably had stricter demands, let’s be real … but he totally curated that family. Who curates an entire family?!

The issue with all of this that I’m having is I find myself on the train to work, drifting off in my imagination, thinking about what kind of plastic surgery Kim got (seriously though, what did she have done … she looks effing amazing). And what will her wedding dress will look like. And if all of this will be televised so I can get all of my questions answered. Why wouldn’t I be thinking about my to-do list for the day, or my goals in life. No. I’m pondering what Kim’s diet regiment is and how I can get on it. Sick. Sick sick sick.

I’m not saying Kim and Kanye are the American version of the royal family. Absolutely not … I refuse to be that guy. I am saying my obsession with them is slightly frightening. Not like I’m going to fly to France and stalk them frightening, just a little unerving. It’s like staring at something shiny. I just can’t turn away. Slash her style is insanely on point. Every outfit she has been rocking in France this week … I need. Now. (See! The fact that I even know about all of her outfits in France is kind of vom-worthy. Am I right? Who AM I?!)

Now all I need is a Kanye West to come into my life and rebrand me. Any takers?


Welp … Kanye Got His Way

Kanye West new video Bound 2 featuring Kim KardashianHere is how I believe it went down … ahem:

Kanye: Yo Anna, let Kim rock Vogue.

Anna Wintour: :::Laughing hysterically::::

—–Month later—–

Kanye: Anna, about Kim being on the co …

Anna Wintour: Before you even start, I’m going to stop you right there. No.

—–Month later—–

Anna Wintour’s receptionist: Anna, Kanye is on line 1

Anna Wintour: Tell him no then hang up

—-Month later at an after party—-

Kanye: Anna, Kim needs to rock that cover.

Anna Wintour: No.

Kanye: Anna.

Anna Wintour: NO.

—-Month later—-

Kanye: Anna, please.

Anna Wintour: No

Kanye: YES! This is happening.

Anna Wintour: NO!

—–Month later—-

Kanye: Listen …


——And scene—-

Anna Wintour totally got bamboozled. I mean if Ye kept harassing me enough with ridiculous requests as I was trying to run a fashion empire … I would most definitely give him exactly what he wanted to shut him up. I mean, it’s only one cover, right?

Well I’ve been going back and forth about how I feel about this. Apart of me loathes Kim Kardashian and everything she stands for. But another part of me has this weird obsession with her. Hell I chopped my hair off this week basically due to her influence. And I adore the fact that she rarely wears color. See? Weird obsession.

But after a lot of thought (pathetic, right?), I think when Keeping Up With the Kardashian’s started, or post sex tape, Kim K was a hot dirty mess. She pretty much was a hot dirty mess up until she started dating Kanye. See examples below. Hell. We all make mistakes.



And now let’s look at Kim Kardashian under Kanye’s spell, shall we:



It’s all magic. Pure magic. It makes me not only want to up my style game, but start breaking the bank buying designer fashions. It’s flawless … and basically all because of Kanye. The man has taste. As cray as people think he is, he actually is kind of a creative genius. All good artists are cray. That is a fact.

So therefore I believe Kim K is the fashion industry’s pheonix. Kanye made her rise from the ashes of bandage dresses and oversized belts so she can rub shoulder’s with the fashion industry kings and queens … so much that she is on the cover of freaking Vogue … after Anna Wintour said she would NEVER put a reality star on the cover. And once upon a time I would have 100% agreed with her, but the girl has kind of proven herself to be not just trendy, but classically stylish … and I think that is what Vogue is all about. I mean the girl isn’t going around rocking crop tops and trucker hats and indulging in all things trendy. She is wearing looks fresh off the runways of fashion weeks from around. the. world.

And let’s be real, every person that has graced the cover of Vogue most likely has or had a full-time stylist. Kim K’s stylist just happens to be her future husband. I can only pray for a man to come into my life and throw out everything in my closet and replace it all with couture. I mean that is every girl’s dream. Right? No? Just me?

Throw stuff at the screen if you must, but I think it’s kind of okay that she is on the cover … because she is gracing the cover with the guy who made her rise from the fashion industries ashes.