Are You Wearing Hose?

We have officially arrived at heat wave central, so the need to wear as minimal amounts of clothing without looking like a whore is optimal, especially at work. So what happens when you need to wear a skirt or dress and your legs are so pale you can see through them, you have a raging bruise that you need to hide, or your skirt or dress is a tad on the short side and you need something to compensate.

Sigh, pantyhose. I immediately think of those cheap plastic balls of nude “hose” one would get at CVS or Walgreens … and the 80’s. The word skeeves me and quite frankly, the thought of wearing them in the summer skeeves me even more. And by the¬†way, who calls them “hose” anymore? Didn’t that word get banned along with “stewardess?” Isn’t the fashionably correct term, “tights” or “stockings,” because I do believe it is.

So Kate Middleton was seen frolicking around La La Land in nude colored “hose,” and now all of a sudden they are making a comeback? True, the girl is a rising style icon, but have you ever heard of the saying, “if all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?” So I HAVE to ask … just because Kate Middleton wore “hose,” will you?

Yes, a chic pair of black or nude tights in the fall or winter can make a look fierce, but people, we are in the middle of July, and I get claustrophobic just thinking about them on my legs. If you are uncomfortable walking around with bare legs, that is why maxi dresses and skirts were invented … and pants, all trendy and chic.

It is so difficult to find a pair of nude “hose” that match your skin tone. They are either too shiny, too dark or too light. Sure, pantyhose has the reputation of being “sexy,” but have you ever watched a real woman put on pantyhose? Probably the least sexy thing on the planet, in fact I tend to curse a lot when I put mine on because I end up pinching my legs trying to shimmy those bad boys up.

So here is what I’m saying, let’s put this trend, if that is what you want to call it, on the back burner, you know, until it doesn’t feel like the fiery pits of hell outside. Also, let’s make a deal that we will start a revolution to ban the word “pantyhose.”


Psst, I Have A Secret: Ladies Re-Wear Their Clothes Sometimes …

No, this does not make me a Kate Middleton fanatic and no I do not stalk her every move. I do on the other hand think she is fantastic, and she gets bonus points for sharing a name with me, I digress though.

I do have an issue with people complaining and caring on about her re-wearing outfits. GASP! I mean for the love of God, all of a sudden she is a Duchess and no longer human?

1. This is NOTHING … and I repeat … NOTHING wrong with wearing the same outfit during a trip or even, might I suggest, during the week. It can’t be something bold, but hey, if you have a simple black dress and wore it on Monday and want to rock it again on Friday, switch it up with different shoes, accessories, hair or makeup and there you have a totally different look. And if someone says something to you, they clearly have too much time on their hands.

2. How much clothing do you think the average woman has? Yes, she is Kate Middleton who could probably call Sarah Burton anytime of the day to have her whip something up, and yes she probably has millions of designers all over the globe begging for her to wear their garments. But a girl likes what a girl likes. And quite frankly, who wants to travel all over the world with millions of clothing options only for them to potentially get ruined or left behind. Keep it simple and stylish when on the go is what I say.

3. Again, she is Kate Middleton and probably has numerous minions lugging her nonsense all over the place, but at the end of the day she is HUMAN. Even if I had other people carrying my belongings around, I would still be paranoid that they forgot something. If anything, she is being a smart packer, something I envy.

4. Did I mention she is human? Everyone always bitches about how unobtainable celebrity lifestyles are. How did they get that mansion? Who could afford to wear 15 different outfits a day? What kind of girl has a personal stylist and hairdresser? Immediately people think, snob. Kate, on the other hand, keeps it real. She likes what she likes and hell, you would be a liar if you didn’t admit that there was that one outfit you love so much that if it were socially acceptable you would rock every day. I know I do.

So the fact that she re-wore that white Reiss dress from her engagement photo and it turned into such an outrage, just plain old sucks. What even happened to “girl power?” If I owned that dress I would wear it to the gym, work, out for drinks, watching T.V. and cleaning the dishes. Beautiful garments like that are not meant to be worn once.

Let’s embrace our recession friendly Duchess who is on her way to becoming a style icon who the American public can relate to. If in the near future she flips the diva switch, I will kindly delete this post, but until then, you go Kate Middleton, you go.