Style Stud Of The Week: Tom Ford 2016 Spring/Summer Collection

Lady-Gaga-Tom-Ford-I-Want-Your-Love-9I’ve become obsessed with a music video, kids … which hasn’t happened since pre-Britney shaving her head. And for the infants reading this post, music videos once lived on a magical thing called MTV, before it was filled with idiots thinking they are “dating” Leonardo DiCaprio, but really are getting intimate over the phone with an overweight 15-year-old girl with self esteem problems who want to stick it to all her “haters”. I digress though. 

Tom Ford, instead of having a tradition runway show to introduce his 2016 spring/summer collection, decided to showcase it in an out-of-the-box fashion with Lady Gaga, who did a re-make of Chic’s “I Want Your Love.” Before I go on, if you don’t know the original version, please take a few minutes out of your day to watch this. I demand it. It’s disco genius (yes, I was clearly born in the wrong decade)

chic-i-want-your-love

This video with Lady Gaga, though … gives me chills. Soul train lines, stunning models (like 90’s-style gorgeous models … not “squad” members that I want to secretly kick), beautiful fashion, and Gaga. It’s … I mean … :::drooling::: I’ve not ashamed to say I’ve watched it like 45,000 times and don’t plan on stopping anytime soon.

The thing I love most about it is Lady Gaga. She’s no model, happens to be short, and in fact was made fun of as a teen for her appearance (girls suck). It just goes to show that with an excessive amount of confidence, a good strut, and a pure unadulterated love for fashion … (and great hair and makeup artists) … anyone can rub shoulders with the most beautiful people in the world. 

Hey … it kind of makes me feel like I could even get up there and join their soul train line (although to be honest I would probably pee myself in fear).

So I’ll shut the hell up now so you can indulge in my Style Stud of the week … Tom Ford’s 2016 spring/summer collection, starring Lady Gaga. Swoon.

(click the image)

iq1ofryktiw1xisnzd5n

Who Are You When You Travel?

I don’t travel much. Partially because I loathe flying and partially because I don’t have time slash can’t really afford to go to the places I would like and therefore don’t see the point (i.e. London/Paris). Not really a big deal because again … I loathe flying for fear I will come crashing down in a fiery awful death. But I digress.

I AM flying this upcoming Wednesday for work … which I’m kind of pumped about. And as I sit here in a lazy state putting off doing laundry, planning outfits for my three days of hotel room living, and finding my suitcase even … I find myself fixated on “the plane outfit.” The plane outfit is important because you want to be comfortable, yet you really want to be stylish. Because … you know … the paparazzi will surely be chasing me throughout the terminal. And then I think about what kind of celeb I want to be whilst traveling. Do I want to be …

Kim Kardashian: She gets photographed traveling … a lot. She is like an airport whore. I can’t believe I’m saying this … but I dig her airport style. Comfortable, chic … large shades, hair in a chic messy bun.  I could totally rock this look … you know, with my Louis carry on and my (probably) over-the-knee Loub boots (riiiiigggghhhhhht.)

It says, “yeah I’ve got style … yet leave me the hell alone, I may or may not be hung over and I may or may not want to talk to you.”

 

 

 


Madonna: 
The material girl likes to get down with layering whilst traveling, to the point where you wonder if she even has ta’s and an ass. But I gotta say … slightly genius. I’m personally flying from a cold climate to a warm-ish one and thought to myself how to go from wearing a coat to rocking flip-flops. You do it through layering. Madge could literally fly from New York in the spring to Antarctica, back down to Jamaica in mid-summer and then back to San Fran in Mid-july and be COMPLETELY prepared for all of the above.

Sure her style here isn’t really my “look” per se. But I will agree with the scarf so you can hide from the paparazzi (for all you starlets out there) or really annoying people who like to strike up conversation with you whilst traveling (for all us normal folk).

And yes … the oversized bag is a MUST. I am actually stressing out about what bag to take that will keep all of my belongings, passport, laptop, iphone, etc., safe, sound and stylish.

The hat … I’m going to politely disagree with this one, M. But hey, we all need outlets to express our personal style, right?

Audrey Hepburn: Or you could go old Hollywood-chic when traveling with the very proper dress, overcoat, chic slicked back hair, heels, tights … woof.

Honestly, Audrey can do no wrong in my eyes. But the fact that women had to travel like this back in the day makes me weep. At the end of the day … unless you have millions and bazillions of dollars … traveling is an exhaustifying bitch. There HAS to be a balance between being stylish and comfortable. But the “proper” nowadays, while traveling, unfortunately, gets punted out the window.

Sorry, Audrey. You lose, my friend.

Paris Hilton: And then there is this, sigh. I get it, you may be flying really early or really late … you may just want to be über comfy, or you might just have a fetish with your monotone jumpsuit, I’m not sure. But this isn’t okay. It also isn’t okay to have “PINK” or anything else across your ass whilst traveling, just sayin’. From me to you, holmes … don’t just roll out of bed and hop a plane. At least do what hipsters do and put effort into looking like you just rolled out of bed.

Lady Gaga: Looking to make a statement? Welp … you can ALWAYS rock this look …

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

… and then there is this …

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

… and then there is this …

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I gotta say … and apart of me hates myself for agreeing with her … but I think I’m a “Kim Kardashian” flyer. Granted she is heading to her private plush jet with endless bottles of Dom and I’m going to my peanut seat in coach awaiting my ant size bag of pretzels … but she has the right idea and the three must-have whilst flying.

1. Big scarf (circle scarf is possible)

2. Exceptionally large shades

3. Large bag you could potentially stick a small human in

Boom. Safe flying this week … lovely readers!

It’s Cool Not To Be Skeletor … I Promise.

Life Sucks In A Strapless Bra is all about commenting and making fun of all the heinous things we as ladies do for fashion. Some of it sucks … including wearing strapless bras … so sometimes you just have to laugh at the situation … henceforth why I’m here. And one of the many heinous things we as woman have to deal with is maintaining a “healthy” weight … a.k.a. don’t get fat, look fat, or exhibit any essence of fatness. Which brings me to the example of Lady Gaga.

I love me some Gaga. I actually adore her for numerous reasons that we won’t get into right now because I’ll start babbling on like a super fan with stars in her eyes. But I’m going to say it is absolutely appalling what the media is doing to her and the new meat on her bones. A year ago she was too skinny, had a drug problem, and looked sickly. Now it is “pork-her-face,” and unoriginal headlines about her eating her entire meat dress. Yeah … I definitely want to hear a reporter who is a dude commenting on a woman’s weight. Hmm mmm …

Yes … the Lady put on some weight. Yes, perhaps some of her stage outfits don’t look as rad as they once did … but this is a woman that we are talking about. A human being. Writing hurtful headlines and being so disgusted by her not looking like a stick anymore … sucks. This is why there are things called body image disorders and diseases like bulimia and anorexia. We are basically telling every girl out there that it is not okay to have a stomach and curves in the society we live in. Well … way to go a-holes. A lot of young girls live and die for Gaga. To think that these impressionable young ladies are reading this drivel and thinking to themselves, “yikes … am I too fat?” makes me want to punt my computer.

People actually seem to have conspiracy theories over why Gaga put on the pounds. Maybe she’s preggo? Maybe she let herself go? Perhaps this is one of her publicity stunts? Or hi, maybe she just decided to enjoy all the beautiful and delicious foods in life instead of settling with a Saltine and calling it a day. Think about it … the girl travels the world. I would ABSOLUTELY get my eat on if I was roaming through Europe. True, she is a performer and technically performers need to have sick bodies because they are sex symbols and run around a stage for hours on end … but do they really? I thought Gaga was known for her voice and cray-cray outfits and vision … not her six-pack. Just sayin’.

So let me let you in on a little secret. Girls … like to eat … A LOT. We might not shovel food in our faces around the general population, because for crying out loud we are ladies … but get us in a room with our girlfriends and a couple pizzas, junk food and beer and see the kind of work that can be done. We are hormonal creatures, we get hungry … really hungry … and eating is one of the most satisfying things in the world. To judge someone for that or to criticize weight gain is absolutely not fair … and quite frankly, no ones business. It is called manners and weight is not something you discuss out loud … idiots.

Everything in moderation is what I like to say. I’m actually happy Gaga put on a few pounds because personally, having a pop star to idolize like that who is so terribly thin that isn’t obtainable for everyone, is quite frustrating. Every woman has a different body, know that. We all have curves and lady lumps in different places … and there is nothing wrong with that. But the last thing we should be doing is judging one another for our weight. There is a fine line between enjoying life and being unhealthy, so as long as Gaga is eating wisely and working out (here and there, because God knows I don’t all the time), then she can tell the media to suck it, politely of course.

So next time you go to make a Lady Gaga’s fat joke, I want you to think about how you would feel with a headline concerning your weight. I want you to think about all the poor women in the world suffering with painful eating disorders. I want you to remember that there is NOTHING wrong with being slightly over weight. At the end of the day … it is about being healthy, not about being an insensitive idiot.

And if you don’t know … now you know.

The Best Of The Best Of The Best … 2011 Styley

The ball is about to drop kiddos, and I don’t know about you but I am welcoming 2012 with open arms. Hell, I might even make out with it a little bit … good riddens to ya 2011. But on that note, it has been a fabulous year for fashion and for this blog. So I would like to share with you what I like to call “The Best Of The Best Of The Best … 2011 Styley” list. The things that inspired me, the trends I loved, the trends I didn’t think I was going to love but did, the trends I wanted to punt … you get the gist.

So here it is ladies and gents, join me in bidding 2011 adieu.

Best Fashion Website:

The winner goes to Refiney29.com. I don’t even know how I stumbled upon it, but I live on it now. My favorite thing about the site is that they not only discuss trends, but supply these fabulous slide shows of where you can get the trends from $10 to $1,000. Genius. From cool new ways to wear a trend, to hangover cures, to cool artists who vomit paint onto a canvas, this site inspires me everyday … and has enhanced my wardrobe quite a bit.

Old School Trend I Didn’t Think I Would Ever Rock: 

The jean jacket. For the love of God, I thought I retired that nonsense back in the second grade, along with my bedazzler. But when I invested in a maxi skirt and had nothing respectable to wear with it besides a blazer, which made me look like a weird school marm, I drove myself to H&M and invest in a jean jacket. It was my go-to for everything maxi this summer. Sure, there were some days when I looked like Brenda Walsh from 90210, but it was a very stylish retro look that I couldn’t get enough of.

Style Stud Inspiration: 

Lady Gaga … I know I know, the woman looks like she gets dressed in a hurricane everyday and is wild and how could she EVER inspire my sense of style, blah blah blah. I’m not saying I’m walking about in nothing but a leather jacket, ripped fish nets, black and white hair and heelless boots, I’m absolutely not. But the reason she inspired me this year is her confidence with fashion. There are days when I stare at a leather skirt in my closet and wonder to myself, it is too much, is it too short, will I look like a hooker? When if it was her, it wouldn’t even be a thought. She loves fashion and she isn’t afraid to pull those crazytown couture looks off the runway, you know the ones that are only seen by like 20 people, while the rest of us are scared of them, and make them her own. We should all take a page from her book, think of how freeing it will be.

Favorite Accessory: 

I absolutely had a cuff addiction this year. Not just a cuff addiction but a cuff and big watch addiction. I didn’t really care about the necklaces or the rings or the other nonsense. But give me a sparkly or bold cuff and a menswear watch and I was in heaven. My wrists were very loved this year.

Favorite Store: 

I’m a Forever 21 and H&M girl at heart. But this year I had a secret love affair with Zara. I would drive my car into the city and literally wander around Zara for hours with piles and piles of clothes, allowing myself to try things on for “funsies.” And usually those were the things I fell in love with. From the color blocking, to the original dresses, I was in heaven. In fact, I’m going through withdrawal as I type.

Favorite Nail Polish:

Again, I’m usually an OPI girl, but a little sale and I started cheating on OPI with Butter. From the packaging to the colors themselves, they are fabulous and for some odd reason really make me feel special. I usually switch between black, nude, navy and red … but at the end of the day, my nails are usually red 85% of the time. I highly recommend Come To The Bed … it is my life. I’ve already gone through two bottles … I did the impossible, I finished 2 whole bottles of nail polish!

Biggest Trend Failure:

Tail hemlines. Ugh. I loved them, loved, loved, loved. So I invest in a sheer, pink (first fail) tail hemline skirt, thinking I could make it a little edgier with a pair of biker boots and a plain white T-shirt with a lot of bling. Instead I ended up looking like a cracked out ballerina. You know that scene from Ace Ventura when he goes to the loony bin wearing a tutu … yep, that was me. I got violently angry every time I tried to mold it into something fantastic. I even tried a tail hemline shirt, but ended up looking like I was going to Poison concert circa 1982 with my belly slightly exposed. Gross, I despise you.

Trend I Couldn’t Live Without: 

With the crazytown weather we had this summer, I would have been utterly lost without my maxi dresses. In fact, I am looking into long sleeve maxi dresses right now because, yes, I miss them that much. They were romantic, stylish and EASY. Sigh, how I miss them.

Over It:

I realize I may offend like half the female population when I say this, and for that I apologize, but I’m done with the whole longer top with leggings. Over. Done with it. It isn’t because it’s not chic, but because it is played out. You know when you hear the same song on the radio so much that the minute it comes on again you want to punt your radio? Well, that is how I feel about this trend. If only it was socially acceptable to wear leggings with anything … I would be a much happier person.

Favorite Shoe Designer: 

Jeffrey Campbell, hands down. Now, of course he doesn’t design “every day” shoes, but his vision and the fact that his shoes really are art make him my fav. I personally can’t wear his shoes because I would look tranny-rific, but if you are looking for a statement piece in your wardrobe, become one with Jeffrey. I do love going to visit them in the Nordstrom shoe department though.

Best Fashion Moment:

For me, it was absolutely the McQueen exhibit at the MET in NYC … the only time standing in line for four hours was SO beyond worth it. I hope some of you got a chance to see it, and for those of you who didn’t, well I hope it comes around again. It was so moving, so powerful and so beautiful, it literally moved me to tears.

So there ya have it. I mean obviously this isn’t every thing, but definitely the ones that stuck out the most. Hmm, I wonder what crazytown things we will end up wearing in 2012 for the sake of fashion.

 

 


 

 

 

I Am My Hair … or Am I?

If our hair color defined who we were as a person, would I just be a brunette? Ick. What the hell does it even mean? Ever since I’ve watched the video for Edge of Glory, I have been obsessed with Gaga’s black and white, Kruella Deville bob. If I didn’t have to be viewed as professional in a workplace with clients, my hair would be black and white. But how do you do something like that, yet still remain a person who is taken seriously?

Then I see Lauren Conrad, Ms. Laguna beach, simple, stylish, put together … who now has rainbow locks? What?! Jesus, what in the HELL is going on?! In high school, if you had pink hair, you clearly shopped at Hot Topic, were a freak and worshipped Satan. Now, how much do you want to bet those popular bitches who you always wanted to trip in the halls are now walking around High School Heaven with two toned hair. Want to know why I have this theory? Because f-ing Lauren Conrad now has rainbow hair!

Honestly, why is having an unnatural hair color considered “unprofessional” and not really accepted by society? It isn’t like we are getting curse words tattooed on our skin or joining evil cults. It’s hair people. If I all of a sudden got a blue streak put into my brunette locks, it wouldn’t mean that I all of a sudden started to pack heat and changed my religion to Satan worshipping. I’ve had red hair, black hair, all different shades of brown, and oh yeah they heinous highlight moment I had … but how boring at the end of the day. Sure it was pretty, but did it express anything?

In a perfect, non-judgmental world, I would have black and white hair, there you have it folks. And I’m going to honest with you and say I do not have the balls to do it, and it is because the fear of it looking ridiculous and unconventional is kind of scary.

What color would your hair be in a perfect, non-judgmental world? Even if you are a lawyer and could walk into the courtroom with Andy Warhol electric yellow hair … would you?

1970’s Nails … Are Back

Since the first time a file hit my nails decades ago, there was no other thought but to square them off. Rounded tip nails immediately make me think of Palmolive commercials from the 1990’s and bad actresses from the 1980’s that got their “big break” on shows like Matlock.

In typical Gaga style, the Born This Way leader of the world of pop has dragged this retro trend into the millennium, which I resisted for quite some time. But just like I had to listen to Judas 100 some odd times to like slash understand and enjoy it, I had to see this trend in action on the pages of Vogue and on J to the L-O’s hands to think, well maybe it would be worth it to give this bad boy a whirl.

Sometimes a person’s look needs to be updated or given a little edge if you will. And if you can’t go out and dye your hair purple or get a tattoo sleeve (as much as you may desire but silly things like work atmospheres ruin those punk rock dreams), this can be a great little edgy fix to quench your thirst for change.

Take that file, drag it across those squared edges, round them out and throw on a pop color, like Cha-Ching Cherry by OPI. If you need color-spiration, watch the music video for Telephone and go with any of those Warhol pop colors.

I mean grandmothers and nuns are wearing hair bows for crying out loud screaming through the streets “don’t be a drag, just be a queen,” so clearly we all respect how strong Gaga’s grasp is upon the world of fashion.

You win Gaga … you always do.