Drool With Me Now: Fall Fashion 2014

image1xxlOkay, I know we have a few more days until Labor Day, and I promised after bitching about the Polar Vortex last winter that I would do nothing but embrace every drop of sunshine and twirl in myriads of maxi skirts … but, yeah … I just made my first fall purchase. I couldn’t help it because I’m THAT ecstatic over summer getting the eff out of town. And yes, I truly intend to make out with said bag when he arrives at my doorstep, that is how much I adore him.

I’ve just had enough of sticky subways, makeup dripping down my face, and having to apply deodorant like three times a day, it’s unbecoming. And I want to punt my summer wardrobe. Listen, I’m not the girl who makes “mood boards” or “inspiration boards,” I have Pinterest for that shit. But the drool coming out of my mouth over fall fashion is excessive, to say the least. So I just had to share with you what I’ve been daydreaming about, right? Clearly.

1. Leather: Leather shoes, leather motorcycle jackets, leather shorts, leather underwear, leather all day err day (calm down, PETA, it will be faux or “hemp” leather … whatever is the politically correct way to rock leather)

11P10FBLK_normal2. New Over-The-Knee Boots: Oh yeah, they are still completely relevant and nothing brings me more joy than walking down the street in hooker boots “Pretty Woman” styley.

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3. Capes: Ya gotta bring the drama every now and then, and quite frankly I’ve been lusting after them since Lupita dropped the Cape bomb at the Golden Globes last year.

Capture4. Fuuurrrrr: I already own a faux fur jacket … and that clearly was my gateway drug to more fur, because now all I want to do is add to my collection. And quite frankly the fur they showed during fashion week is on POINT (seriously PETA, settle, I couldn’t bare to skin my cat and wear her, so this, again, will be eco-friendly fur … chill)

30C01GBLK_normal5. Removing Color Completely: Not that I wear a lot of color to begin with, but I’m really going to make a conscious effort to only wear neutrals. Black, white, beige, maybe a camel. Then if I’m in dire need of color (yawn), I’ll throw in something like a merlot-colored tote bag or something.

2014-Black-White-Outfit-Combination-Ideas-136. Bucket Bag: I’ve been on the fence about these bad boys, as I couldn’t decide if this was a bad 80’s trend revamped or a classic staple. I’m still not quite sure, but anything stylish that I can carry my entire life in is something I want to take a spin in.

23015591_927. Chelsea Ankle Boots: Swoon. The boot game this season is fierce, and where to begin can seem overwhelming. Welp kids, you start here, with the classic Chelsea boot in black. God speed after that.

Capture8. Extreme turtlenecks: If the Farmers Almanack is right, this winter is going to be freaking cold. True … turtlenecks have been connected with prudes and squares in the past, but the dramatic thick turtle necks that I literally could hide in and hibernate is something I can get behind.

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9. Novelty Prints: I gave up ironic t-shirts years ago, even though I did own the typical “Everyone Loves an Irish Girl,” shirt. Yes, I’m sick of seeing the overly ironic “Celfie” shirts, but I kind of like what some designers are bringing to the table … especially under an over-sized mens blazer. Mmm scrumtilescent.

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10. Textures: I’m very basic when it comes to fabric … I’m mostly a cotton gal. That “Fabric of our Lives” commercial should totally check out my closet, although I refuse to sing. But this season I want to dip my feet in the season of velvet, silk, satin, lace, and everything in between … hell, throw felt up in this piece.

Kissable: Leather Skirt

There is nothing I love more than going shopping by myself for new fall clothing and having a lovely lunch afterwards. Sure, the occasional shopping jaunt with my girlfriends is always fun, but no two girls shops the same. And when it comes to a fresh fall wardrobe, this involves hours of digging, visiting the dressing room numerous times and complete focus … henceforth why I like to do it solo (no offense to my fabulous girlfriends).

And during this specific shopping trip, I found myself striking out over and over again. So when desperate times call for desperate measures, I then found myself trying certain things on, for what I call, “funsies.” Enter leather skirt stage right.

I partially brought it in the dressing room to laugh at myself looking like a fool and I partially brought it in the dressing room in hopes that I would look like a rock star bad ass. Well the good news is I did not look a fool in it … the bad news is I wouldn’t call myself a rock star bad ass either. Whomp whomp.

So I stood in the dressing room staring at myself in the mirror, taking it off and putting it back on over and over, loving the way it looked and violently texting my friends exclaiming how much I loved it but how nervous I was that I would look like the town hussy. For example if I rocked a pair of fish nets, thigh high leather boots, a barely there little black tank top, red lipstick and sex hair, I would be an inappropriate hot mess ready to hop on the back of a motorcycle.

BUT, if I paired it with a tasteful white, ruffled blouse a black boyfriend jacket and a pair of fantastic stilettos with patterned black tights … perhaps I could go to work and not get the “office skank 2011” medal of honor. Even an all black look would be exceptionally chic with a pair of patterned tights. This tiered leather skirt looks exactly like the one I bought and is a great starting point in the world of leather goods.

I personally think “leather” just has a bad connotation with it, especially a leather skirt. Even if you are dressed appropriately and chic in a leather skirt without showing any skin, people will still make comments and “oh and awe” over a whole bunch of nothing. Want to know why? Because people have nothing better to do or say … and most are fashionably challenged. Leather is a type of material people, just like cotton and spandex. So if you want to rock a leather skirt or dress, know that you don’t have to look like a seductive dominatrix.

It was a proud moment for yours truly this weekend, and if I hadn’t purchased the skirt, I would probably still be talking about it and hammering myself for not buying it at this exact moment.  It turns out I am kind of obsessed with it and if I could kiss it, I would. Edgy purchases like this are so worth it and really makes you excited to get up and get dressed for work, EVEN on a dismal Monday morning.