Who Run The World? Not Lena Dunham …

BestFriends“Men are simple compared to BFFs” -Lena Dunham

I’ve been biting my tongue on the topic of Lena Dunham for quite some time, but I’ve just had enough. I’ve done my research, I’ve watched some of season 1 and most of season 2 of Girls and after reading this article by Refinery29 … I gotta say this: Lena Dunham please, for the love of Jesus, shut. the. hell. up.

The quote above? Absolute hogwash in my eyes. Maybe it is true in her fictitious world she creates, but in real life, I have to politely disagree.

In my world, there are two different types of girls: The ones who are the “girls girl” and the others that consider themselves a “guys girl”. Oh right, and then there are those random outliers who can co-exist perfectly with both. I consider myself a “girls girl.” I think it is because I like being able to relate to the people I’m around. The “guys girl,” well … you know who they are. They are the girls who make haughty statements like, “I just have never gotten along with girls :::hair flip:::, I take to guys more is all. Girls are bitches.” What I’ve always wanted to say back to them is, ” ummm then why are you hanging out with me?” but I refrained.

At the end of the day, girls need girls. I will agree with you, some girls are bitches. Some girls say really heinous things. But so do guys … we are all guilty of this. But life just isn’t worth living, as a female, without a chick for a best friend. And to be honest, the term “best friend” is madly overused. You could be drunk in a bar, instantly connect with a rando girl in the bathroom, take shots, be “BFFs” all night, and wake up in the morning not even remembering her name. It is so easy to start connecting on a “BFF” level with a girl … but more times than not, that fire fades, just like in other relationships.

To me, a best friend is someone who stands by you through your good and bad decisions. Who will talk you off a ledge in a moments notice. Who you can run to when a guy in your life broke your heart so badly you don’t even recognize yourself anymore. They see the good in you even when you are being 50 shades of cray (oh yeah … I said it). A best friendship is one of the most important relationships females need to have in their lives.

Don’t get me wrong … men are fantastic. Men are beautiful people who can, if they open their eyes, share a beautiful life with you one day. But to call them “simple” … uhhh yeah no. I’ve never met a “simple” guy in my life. Just because they are laid back doesn’t make them simple. In fact, NOTHING in life is simple. Bare with me as I have a really corny moment, but I think Charlotte York from Sex and the City had it right all along when she said, “men can be these great nice guys to have fun with, and then your girlfriends can be your soulmates.” Listen, I don’t want to call up my guy friends when I have cramps, or feel fat, or hate the way my hair looks, or when I’m having a minor life crisis and need to have reality slapped back into me, or when I want to gossip, or talk about the Kardashians, or just want to go on and on about nothing. Call me old school … I just don’t.

Lena Dunham … you’re a genius … leading hipsters into the final frontier, tip of the cap to you. But I think you have it all wrong when it comes to the concept of “BFFs”. Because that is the most important accessory any girl can have. The concept of being “best friends” with someone isn’t something you can make weird, unknown, obscure or edgy. Friendships won’t be sold at Urban Outfitters like neon skinny jeans, alright? You know when you have a best friend … you feel it in your gut, just like when you know you met the love of your life. Plain and simple.

Oh … also … Marnie and Hannah should end things … that is a relationship that would have ended the minute they got their college diplomas. Real talk. It is not worth having a plot line go on and on when Marnie is off living in Lala land with her app-creator boyfriend and Hannah is sitting pantless on her counter eating Cool Whip. Because if Marnie gave a shit, she would be sitting pantless eating Cool Whip with her. That’s how BFFs roll.

Also … sidebar … maybe, just maybe, comment on how those four girls survive in NYC, with barely any of them having jobs … I mean seriously … who can relate to that?

—–I’m very lucky to be able to call a few ladies in my life my “BFF” and I dedicate this post to them and all the beauty, laughter, and wisdom they have and will keep bringing into my life.——

Don’t Wear Um If You Can’t Rock Um

photo-1Yep … :::sigh::: that little girl to the left? That’s me. Let me tell you that I’ve tried numerous times to burn this picture. My family has been obsessed with it … so much that my brother thought it would be funny to blow it up and put it on the side of my house during my high school graduation party … so he did. Good times …

But after watching the Golden Globes last night and having to witness Lena Dunham awkwardly stumble to the stage to accept her awards, I decided I had to share this photo with you and tell you a little story called … I’ve been walking in heels since I was 3 … literally, as you can see. And not because my mom was a crazytown stage mom. Nope … this was self-inflicted. ¬†I literally lived in heels until like age 5.

Right, so Lena, darling … just because you have a fab TV show that everyone is obsessed with (myself not included) and have become God’s gift to hipsters all over the world and you probably were and are worth a million bazillion dollars … DOESN’T mean you have to rock 6 inch Louboutin’s. Seriously. Sure, they are fun, pretty, and a “symbol of status.” But what is the point if you can’t strut your stuff properly?

I realize everyone is crying like, “waaa leave poor Lena alone, she was wearing beastly Loubs … you try walking in them waaaa!” But seriously, why didn’t her “people” hire her someone to teach her how to strut in these bad ass shoes? Because if you are going to rock Loubs … you ROCK Loubs, for the love of God.

At the end of the day, wearing high heels and walking in them … not an easy task. But we as ladies do it because they are fun, gorgeous, sexy, and a staple in every woman’s closet. But if you can’t walk in them, pick a different pair. I think Christian Louboutin makes a smaller heel size than 6 inches, right? There is nothing more uncomfortable in life than witnessing a woman wearing a fantastic pair of heels and disgracing them by walking like an idiot.

And for ladies … and Lena … that have a hard time walking in heels, here is my shoe strutting advice:

1. Take your time, there is never a fire whilst walking in heels … never

2. Picture Naomi Campbell or your favorite super model when you walk

3. Heel, toe, heel, toe … it is not a myth

4. Know the difference between “sitting shoes” and “walking shoes” … if you don’t know the difference, you should probably nix the heels completely

5. When you buy new heels, wear them around your house, rock them when you cook, clean … break. them. in. (Lena Dunham should have been doing this for weeks before the Golden Globes)

6. Practice makes perfect. If you have an event to go to and you never wear heels … and decide to indulge in your dream pair of heels to rock … don’t, unless you are willing to put the hours of walking practice in. Otherwise … guaranteed, you will make an ass of yourself.

So there ya have it. I still walk like an asshole in high heels when they aren’t broken in ¬†properly … we all do. But I’m sorry, there just is no excuse when you are at the Golden Globes. None. Like not even a little. I’m glad you have your hipster army defending you but … for shame.