Even Target.com Can’t Handle The Missoni Collection

So yes, when I heard Missoni was doing a collection for Target, I may have jumped in mid-air and made a vow to myself that I would sleep outside the front doors of my Target in order to get a slice of this collection (mind you this was back in like May or June). I say this for every designer collection that they have carried, but this time I meant it dammit, I meant it.

And then the mod styled advertising started with the mystery girls, you know, very Austin Powers-esque, dripping in Missoni from telephones, to bath towels, to tights, to dresses to literally anything else you can think of. It was all over the place! On TV, my magazines, blogs … everyone was talking about it (I mean that is the point of good advertising, right?) Hell, I sure was.

But in a way, all of this ruined it for me. I’ve seen real Missoni, up close and personal. I’ve touched it, I’ve tried it on and I’ve cried because you literally need to be a size negative zero and six feet tall to pull off anything this label has to offer without looking like a whale. Close to six feet tall, yes, close to negative zero … NEGATIVE. The prints, the colors, the zig zags … ain’t flattering, let me tell you.

I’m going to assume everything is sold out at Targets all over the country, in fact I know because I can’t even get on Target.com right now. So, let’s talk about this eBay business. Really? The bid for a piece of Missoni for Target luggage is up to $265?! REALLY?! A Missoni FOR TARGET sweater dress up to $152.50? WHAT?! And the best part is, if you search for actual Missoni pieces on eBay … they are around the same bidding price, give or take. Oh look, an authentic Missoni dress for $112.50. Seriously people, if you in such DIRE need for this collection that you will subject yourselves to eBay and pay whatever the hell these crazytown folks are asking for, do yourselves a favor, save up a bit more and get the real thing.

I’m not knocking Target, because I live for this store, but I gotta say this collection MIGHT just be over the top. Sure the colors are pretty and everything is super fun to look at and enjoy, but are we just fooling ourselves? I think it is fantastic that Target does collections like these because it opens them up to a whole new class of people who may not be able to afford the real thing, like me. I openly could never afford a real piece of Missoni, but apart of me kind of wishes that it would stay sacred … something to look forward to … something to lust after, you know? As cute as all of this jazz may be, I kind of don’t want the option of having a Missoni bath towel. Missoni is something delicate, beautiful and classic. Not something I want to dry off with.

Ugh … it pains me to be such a Debbie Downer about this collection, but some things in fashion should stay sacred.

Something I Would Sleep Outside For …

I’ll admit it, I have missed all of the great lines at Target¬†due to laziness and forgetfulness … shame on me. Okay maybe one time I almost scored a John Paul Gaultier dress but it just wasn’t meant for me.

But starting on Sept. 13 ladies and gents … you can find me sleeping outside the doors of my local Target to get my hands on some Missoni¬†garments and accessories. There is said to be a men’s, women’s, children’s and home wear collection coming from the Italian designer. Can you picture it now, every aspect of my life decked out in Missoni … sigh.

Why am I extra obsessed about this collection when I let some of my favorite designers for Target slip through my closet cracks? The classic Missoni colorful zigzag pattern is flawless, delicate and most importantly … timeless. I’m not talking about timeless in a Burberry plaid fashion since everyone, their mother and dog tend to have something Burberry printed across some aspect of their lives … but I’m speaking in one of a kind terms.

And those days when I have time to wander through the couture section of Nordstrom, I always keep my eye on those Missoni dresses, even though I know you need to be a negative five to look attractive in them since they show every nook and unforgiving cranky. I consider them pieces of Italian art that I would be more than pleased to hang a piece of in my closet.

Now I just need to find a sleeping bag, some pepper spray (for fear of creepers … sleeping outside in public is a dangerous feat my friends) and I will be the proud owner of a Missoni garment … hopefully … who is with me?!