Snarkless

10919341_898499173515793_2013780022_nThis post is dedicated to the city of Paris, and for all of those affected by the terror attacks last Friday. My heart is with you.

I wanted to be snarky this morning. I wanted to wake up and post a picture on Instagram about how I can hear Monday whispering, “go fuck yourself,” in my ear already. I wanted to post on Facebook how in love I was with Aziz Ansari’s new Netflix show and if I could just keep him in my pocket and take him out when I needed a laugh, I would be the happiest person in the world. But I couldn’t. It didn’t seem right.

I was 14 when 9/11 happened, and the first thought I had was, “hmmm I wonder if TRL will still be on.” My young brain clearly had no fucking idea what just had happened and how the world would never be the same.

And here I am, 28 years old, glued to the TV watching these horrific events unfold in Paris, and I can only imagine this feeling that I can’t quite describe that is consuming me is what adults felt during 9/11. 

I have no connection to Paris. My family is not from there. I did not study abroad there. I’ve never even been to Europe. In fact I was really hesitant to post the Eiffel Tower peace sign across Life Sucks In A Strapless Bra social channels, because I so desperately didn’t want it to look like I was joining the “bandwagon,” since I didn’t have a solid connection.

But I posted it because truly my heart hurt for the people of Paris. Simply because what happened to them could happen anywhere. Literally anywhere. They went out on a Friday evening to unwind, relax, enjoy the city. Something I do every weekend. Something many of us do every weekend. And several lost their lives for that for no reason.

While I know my snark will not be on hiatus forever, in fact I’m sure within the next 12 hours something will piss me off, or my cat will do something ridiculous and I’ll feel the need to Instagram it, but for now I want to focus on being positive. I know this sounds totally fucking weird coming from me, but it’s worth it since we all have so many reasons to be. Really … think about it. 

I hope you’ll join me. It won’t be easy (especially on a Monday when everything hurts and my bed is like a super comfortable vice). And I’m not saying smile all day until your cheeks burn, skipping and handing flowers to strangers. Gross. But it a little something we can do to pay homage to the brave people of Paris. 

UPDATE: my cat DID do something ridiculous and I DID Instagram it. Stella’s getting her snark back. 

Mmmm Couture

6.nocrop.w840.h1330I want to go to Paris. And not so I can fall in love under the Eiffel Tower, or stand in the ridic line at the Louvre to not see the Mona Lisa, or wear a dumbass beret and really scream, “HEY … I’M MURICAN!” No. I want to dive in the sea of overflowing fashion that is happening right now. I want to bathe in it. I want to be injected with it. Oh yeah …  I said it.

Ladies, New York Fashion Week is amateur hour compared to the Paris Couture shows. You don’t see the swarms of fashion bloggers from all over the country taking selfies out front of the shows. Or assholes like me who just stand out front of Lincoln Center ticketless and hoping to see a cool famous person. Nope. This is strictly for the big wigs. The people who truly respect and want to soak in every ounce of the beauty and art that these shows have to offer. I’m not hating on my fellow fashion bloggers, but even I know I don’t belong there. Some things should remain sacred, ya know?

So instead I sat on my bed last night, flipping through the slideshows on The Cut and pretending I was sitting front row next to Anna Wintour and Grace Coddington trying to act cool but secretly freaking out inside. Everything was so beautiful, so abstract, and some so simple you would sell a loved one just to hold it (trust me, I’ve contemplated it).

Life just doesn’t get any better than couture. It just doesn’t. We forget sometimes because there is truly so much crap out there. Beautiful crap … but crap. But when you see couture it just like a breath of fresh air, like “holy lord, I’m wearing trash bags and paying too much money for them. What am I doing with my life.”

I’ll let you decide which is your favorite, but I completely fell head over heals for Dior’s show and would put on one of those coats in this heatwave happily and twirl around. Hell, I would probably live in it like a cartoon character who only rocks one outfit. So if you would excuse me, I’m going to go back to daydreaming that I’m in Paris for the couture shows and not sweating on the subway with the commoners. K, bye. Now enjoy some of the pieces I’m currently drooling over.

CHANEL

52.nocrop.w840.h1330

25.nocrop.w840.h133012.nocrop.w840.h1330

CHRISTIAN DIOR

CaptureDior8

Dior

CaptureDior3

ON AURA TOUT VU

OnAuraToutVu2

On Aura Tout Vu

GIAMBATTISTA VALLI

Giambattista Valli

22.nocrop.w840.h1330

SCHIAPARELLI

Scrap

STEPHANIE COUDERT

Stephanie

*All photos were taken from The Cut.

Chanel Haute Couture Translations

It is wrong to say you hate Chanel, or an article of Chanel clothing, or Karl Lagerfeld. It is much like cursing in church. Sure, you could absolutely go for it, but technically your soul will burn in Hell for the rest of eternity. Therefore, I refuse to say I didn’t like the Chanel Fall 2011 Haute Couture show … I just refuse.

Welcome to the world of couture, walking artwork telling us the story of Coco Chanel. Let’s just say if someone were to hand me a look from the show, I would rip off my clothing Clark Kent style, throw it on, and probably twirl around in sheer ecstasy for hours.

Even though these looks are highly unobtainable to the average Josephine (yours truly), there are definitely some trends that one could rock in order to praise the church of Chanel.

1. Who had LA Lights sneakers when you were a kid, because I sure did, and I loved them to pieces. Heinously ugly, but I love a simple thing like a sneaker with an eclectic attribute. So I clearly am a huge fan of the light up heels and boots at the end of this show. It was such a futuristic, “here I am moment.” Heels that light up are now on the top of my Varuca Salt, “But DADDY I WANT IT NOW,” list.

2. The lace over the models eyes made me want to run to JoAnn’s Fabrics and snatch up some gothic-inspired lace and drape my face in it. How delicate but really edgy all at the same time. You may think I joke about running to JoAnn Fabrics, but this haute couture form of accessorizing can be very affordable.

3. Lagerfeld wears badass fingerless leather gloves that I have been obsessed with for years. And in this show almost every look had a pair of fingerless gloves that went all the way up to the elbow or beyond. Some were leather, some were lace. Either way, I will be investing in a pair for the fall … and I probably won’t take them off … ever.

Can you tell I’m obsessed with Karl Lagerfeld? Yes it is Chanel, and it is Paris, and he had this show at like 10 p.m. Paris time which is so unheard of, and it is Karl Lagerfeld, and it is haute couture.

Shows like these are meant for the ideas flowing down the runway to be adopted, so translate and make them your own!