It’s Pronounced ‘MURICA … Duh
I’m not sure why, but I have this strong urge to paint my entire body red, white and blue this 4th of July. I just love it. BBQs, little pink houses, pies, Bud Light, Chuck Norris … I just want to shout it from the roof tops … I love ‘MURICA! I’ve lived only minutes from the greatest city in the US of A my entire life … yeah that’s right … I’m talking about Philly. Betsy Ross, the liberty bell, Will Smith … your city … SUCKS (stolen from Tina Fey). No seriously, I’m not hating on your city … I swear we are lovely people who just like to indulge in cheesesteaks and once in a blue moon fancy whipping batteries at non-IGGLES fans. Therefore we are NOT indeed cranky fat jerks like numerous publications have claimed. The birthplace of ‘MURICA truly rocks … Elton John says so … and you know that’s legit.
So at the end of the day I probably won’t end up painting my entire body red, white and blue (you’re welcome), but I have been pretty impressed by some of the festive looks popping up all over the interwebs. Once upon a time it used to be considered extraordinarily lame to rock ‘MURICAN flag shirts with the year printed on them from places like Old Navy. Or remember the days when you used to cringe when your mom would rock a light up Uncle Sam pin to your family BBQ? But now … it is entirely bad ass. Hell, I’m totally going out and getting a fierce stick on ‘MURICAN flag tattoo just for funsies (because if I got a real one I would probably wake up hung over on the 5th cursing violently at my idiot life decisions).
So I say anything goes this 4th of July. Wanna rock ‘MURICAN flag short shorts? Do it. Got a crazy Uncle Sam-inspired hat that is callin’ your name? Rock that shit. Feel like drunkenly dancing around to Philadelphia Freedom in your backyard with a beer in your hand (which is an amazing workout … not that … I have … umm … done it or anything)? Go for it, you jazzercising maniac! Have a ball kids … and do it responsibly, for the love of Jesus. It is totally not ‘MURICAN chic to get behind the wheel whilst intoxicated. Crash, cab, train, plane … do what you must to get home safely :::star swipe, the more you know:::
And now behold … my favorite ‘MURICAN styled looks! Feel free to share yours with me on my numerous social presences … I’ll be sharing mine!