The thought of going back in time and doing it all again, makes me want to run like a bat out of hell. Elementary school bullshit, trying to figure out simple math (seriously, math class used to make me sweat with anxiety), puberty, college, finding a job … yeah um no.

But if someone guaranteed me that I could come back as 1-year-old North West, daughter of Kanye and Kim, I would absolutely give it all up and sit front row at Paris Fashion Week on my “Mommy’s” lap. Okay … that is a little creepy to say. Kim Kardashian’s taas are always out and about with those deep v’s … that may be a little too close for comfort. And I assume her and Kanye as SUPER weird. But I digress.

A lot of people don’t agree with how Kanye and Kim are raising young North. Shocking. My mother, for example, was appalled by the young one wearing a sheer top to the Givenchy fashion show. “Babies shouldn’t wear sheer anything!” she shrieked. And while I slightly agreed with her, I felt like it was tastefully sheer for a 1-year-old. And then I realized how insane the whole convo was.

Listen, mother and daughter outfits aren’t anything new. We’ve all been there … well not me because my mom was awesome and would never step foot in Talbots. But a LOT of people have creepy pics of them in mother and daughter matching outfits. Kim just took it up a notch and decided to rock sheer Givenchy outfits that complemented each other. I mean, I’m okay with it. It’s Givenchy, for crying out loud. And she didn’t put North in sheer pants like she was wearing, did she now? Nope. Because that would be creepy … and weird on a baby.

Now don’t throw shit at me after you read the next statement, but I want to give Kim and Kanye a slow clap for the way they dress North. No pinks, no sparkle, no cutesy Disney characters all over her weird cotton onesy. Just straight up fashion. I adore it. Just because you birthed a female doesn’t mean as parents you need to exaggerate that fact with tutus and pink ponies. My God.

Does it bother me that a 1-year-old has a better wardrobe than me? Absolutely. Not only a better wardrobe, but a wardrobe I couldn’t afford in like three years worth of salary. The fact that this baby slash heiress to the West/Kardashian fortune, is like boys with all of the biggest and baddest couture designers and sits front row at all the best fashion shows in God damn Paris drives me mad. I was lucky if I rocked the latest line from K-Mart when I was her age, for the love of God. Yet this kid drools on Lanvin … literally.

:::Sigh::: I hate to admit that when I saw North sitting front row at the Givenchy fashion show, I secretly wished I was her. And I still do. Mostly for the clothes. Not for the youth. Like I said I would NEVER want to go back in time, even if Yeezus was my Dad. I also secretly wished I could wear leather pants and a Yeezus tour T … but alas I just don’t think I can pull it off as well as her.

Damn you, North West, damn you!